Rando

Hey Yall,
I totally plan on writing a nice long post about how IST went once I get back to Rams, but for now I wanted to leave you with these pictures (I will fill you in on them during my next post, that way I get to be all cliff hangery):

And let you know that even though I have been sick THIS ENTIRE FLIPPING WEEK AND A HALF, that having a shower, internet and the love and company of my fellow volunteers has still made this an absolutely wonderful experience.

Claire

Language

What up hillbillies and hobos, today’s topic for discussion is going to be language! Believe it or not this is kind of a big thing in my universe, and you won’t have any idea of how much until you live in a place where your native language doesn’t do jack diddily for the locals. Let us start out with Setswana, since that is the lingua franca, and then we can move on to English.

Setswana is a wonderful language and I am having fun trying to come to grips with even a rudimentary grasp of it. With all 14 different noun classes, things can be a real hoot! But who are we kidding? I don’t actually take into account all 14 classes, most of the time I pick one or two and just hope people understand what I am saying; it’s easier for me and just tickles the ladies I work with. But there are a few nouns that I feel particularly attached to, and ones I am now going to warn you about should you choose to take up one of the many colorful languages of the Tswana peoples.

Seytuna- this is a name and in most circumstances means “flower”, then again there are those few times when it also means....take a moment to guess right here, what could a word for flower also mean? If you said “gun” you win a prize! You did say gun right? Who wouldn’t have guessed that flower and gun are the same word??

Madi- one of the few words in the Setswana vocabulary that kinda sounds like its English translation. Madi means “money” in English and most often comes up in my day via small children holding out their hands and saying “mpha madi” which means “give me money.” In case you wanted to know, “no” works in pretty much any language. But what else could this word mean? What is the first thing that comes to mind when I say “African _____ diamonds”? Blood! Yes, madi also means “blood” which is kinda interesting when you know that the Botswana pula (currency of Bots) means “rain.”

Lastly, and this is my absolute favorite, we have lebele- Lebele is a common grain in Botswana and when you are saying it, it should sound like “lay-bell-eh” with the final “eh” going down in pitch. If you pitch that last “eh” up though you are saying “breast.” In a country where homosexual acts are illegal you can imagine how tricky it is when one is attempting to say things like “Ke rata ja lebele” which can mean “I like to eat grain” or “I like to eat boob.”

Now let us move on to English. And we aren’t talking about good ole Americana English, we are talking about the wonderful world of Motswana Accent English! My first hilarious example comes from none other than “why don’t you buy something for me because you are white” dude! I was walking to the library, minding my business, waving and saying hello to the neighbors when Why Don’t You Buy Me Something Dude approached. He then proceeded to tell me how much he needed me to buy him, what I could only interpret as “a Grandfather.” Now most of the time I can figure these out, but for the life of me I have no idea what this young man was saying. The conversation went something like this:

Guy: Hallo! Hi, yes, I have no money, I need grandfather. You will buy?

Me: Ummmmm, hi. You need what?

Guy: I need grandfather, from shop, kwa (he points behind himself at the hardware store)

Me: What? Ga ke tlhalogani (I don’t understand) You need a grandfather?

Guy: Yes grandfather, I need

Me: *very perplexed look*

Guy: Only 5 pula, I need grandfather, you buy me. Give me 2 pula

Me: I’m sorry, I don’t know what you are saying. Ga ke na madi (I have no money)

Man do I love communicating!

As enthusiastic as I am to speak Setswana, there are many children in Rams who are just as enthusiastic to speak “sekoga” or English. There are a few young ones that see me and instantly want to show off their skills. In doing so they essentially word vomit every scrap of English they have stored up in their heads. While shouting out to me from their yards, they sometimes sound like this:

Child: HELLO!

Me: Dumela!

Child: HI! THANK YOU! HOW IS YOUR MORNING? (It is 5pm)

Me: It is nice, how is your morning?

Child: (pause) THANK YOU! MY NAME IS PILOT! YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND!

Me: Ke bidiwa Tlotlo, dumela Pilot! (My name is Tlotlo, hello Pilot)

Pilot: (pause) HELLO! ...(having run out of English)...mpha sweets! (Give me candy)

Me: Ga ke bua Setswana, ga ke tlhalogani (I don’t speak Setswana, I don’t understand you)

Pilot: (As I am walking away) HELLO!

Me: Go siame! (good bye!)

Oh what good times there are to be had in the Peace Corps J

Rata Thata,

Claire

My Brain

So there is a good chance that this particular post isn’t going to make any sense to you if you aren’t a PCV or RPCV but I’m hoping there will be some level of mild amusement for the rest of you as well.

Some random looks into the daily mental monologue of Claire P./ Tlotlo Kenalemang:

Okay, time to leave the house! Wallet, check. Sets notebook, check. Lunch, check. Keys, check. Water bottle full, check. I’m totally going to change the world!

This mosadi mogolo is totally going to come up and talk to me, stay cool, try and remember as much Setswana as possible. Oh crap, we are past the ‘hello, how is your day?’ and now I have no idea what she is saying, I will just say ‘eh’ and smile an hope she was asking me a yes or no question. Crap that didn’t work and now she is just repeating herself loudly...something about it being cold? Maybe about water? Goats?

Butt face I forgot my water bottle.

Baby weighing time! There is nothing I love more than babies. Oh crap that one is crying, but only after it saw me. This child totally thinks I am a white devil. I’m sorry small crying child; I promise I am not going to eat you. This one isn’t crying, awesome! Coochie, choochie, coo... great, now she is peeing on the floor. 

Walking to the library, man is it hot outside. Why are all of these children touching my hand? I swear to all that is good on God’s green earth if I hear one more teenager use that stupid nasally voice to say “hi” or call me lekoga I’m going to freak out and start screaming.

Facebook time, I am only going to send a few emails and see how people are doing, I swear. Oh look, someone is getting married and or engaged and or pregnant and or having a kid. ‘My life is cool, my life is cool, my life is cool.’ YES! (fill in the blank) sent me an email! I FREAKIN LOVE EMAILS!

Man I hope the water is working when I get home, I really want to be able to take a bucket bath. Hahaha who would have thought I would be having that thought a year ago?

I love it when little kids give me high fives, and most of them are starting to call me something other than lakoga...even if they are using the name of the last volunteer. All white people look alike, no biggie.

Home at last, now for the big decision: rice or lentils? Well, I had lentils yesterday...then again I had rice the day before. I’m thinking lentils, it feels like a lentils day.

Second biggest decision of the day: can I get away with going another night without a bath? Well the last time I had a bath was the same morning I ate the last of the rice crispies...good lord that was like four days ago. *sniffs self* Well I can't actually smell myself so I should be good for another day, I will just put on a hat and make sure my underwear is clean...yeah, that's pretty much the same as taking a bath.

‘Brushing my teeth, brushing my teeth, singing in my head because I’m brushing my—‘HOLY SHIT THAT IS A GIANT COCKROACH! Oh dear lord that thing is going to eat me in my sleep. Shit, and that’s a lizard, why is mother nature taking over my house?!? Alright Mr. Lizard, you can stay but only if you eat the roach.

If I pull my sleeping bag over my head the bugs cannot get to me

Dear God, take care of my friends and family at home and abroad. Watch over my actions and keep me sane enough to make it through another day. I just want to do some good in this world.

*metal giggle* I’m in Peace Corps in Africa *mental grin* 

So You Want To Be A PCV?

So you want to be a Peace Corps Volunteer?

There are going to be a few things you need to know/ know how to deal with. Here is a list:

1.       Roosters are going to be your new alarm clock…an alarm clock that you set while drunk, that has a repeat function. Be prepared to wake up at least three times, anywhere between 9pm-6am. At some point you will learn to sleep through all but the needed alarm.

2.       Your amazing super power of American efficiency only works in America, don’t try to bring it with you. A “productive day” (and you will hear this time and again) could mean sitting under a tree and counting goats.

3.       Just because people “no speak Americano” does not mean that they are stupid, in fact, they are probably smarter than you in more ways than they have the ability to tell you…because they no speak Americano.

4.       You are like Godzilla to small children, you are fun to watch and point at from far away, but scary as hell up close. Be prepared for babies and infants to break into screams and attempt to waddle away at the mere sight of you.

5.       Your name is not Claire, your name is Tlotlo, whether or not you can pronounce it correctly.

6.       Imagine that someone who is 7 feet tall and tattooed bright blue had moved into your neighborhood. You would know where that person’s house was, right? That is how everyone in your village knows where you live, and knows your name even though you haven’t met them.

7.       In my experience it’s not really about being lonely in Peace Corps; you are going to be surrounded by people who want to interact with you constantly. It’s more about the fact that you have to be “on” all the time. You get the best and worst parts of being a celebrity.

8.       At some point, and I am sure this will have a different timeline depending on how quickly you get settled in; it is going to strike you how comfortable you are in a place that was so foreign just a few months ago. You might be texting in a different language or riding in a truck through the dessert, either way it’s going to be a weird feeling.

9.       When left to your own devices (especially when those devices aren’t usually examined on a one on one basis) your brain is going to wander to places previously unknown.

a.       Favorite places to wander: past relationships, future plans, food, nostalgic ponderings over amenities no longer accessible, how you are going to spend your readjustment allowance, food, overly ambitious projects that your community probably doesn’t need nor want, food, home and food…mostly cheese.

10.   Music is universal, social etiquette is not. True story: there was a day that I woke up to Mariah Carrey and Celine Dion, which would have been great had it not been 5am in the morning on a Saturday.

11.   Things you swore you would never do, and things that you vowed to continue doing in the states will at some point get jumbled up. This includes, but is not limited to: shaving, working out, cooking, journaling, budgeting, shopping, focusing on “the moment”, internet usage, meditation, reading, and taking any and all “you” time you need so that “you” doesn’t go insane. I will let you think about which of those I’m doing and which I’m not.

12.   You are going to be a grandma when it comes to bedtime. Seriously people, I was in bed at 7:30pm last night and sleeping an hour later. Hell my grandmother stays up later than that, so we will just change it to “a grandma’s grandma.”

13.   Clean is going to take on a whole new meaning. The “pits and crotch” hand washing method, as well as the over use of baby powder in your hair to get rid of the oil are concepts you will be overly comfortable with.

14.   This is going to be the last one, but it is a big one. As determined and passionate and driven as you were to get into Peace Corps (and you are going to have to be) so is everyone you are serving with. At some point you are going to read about their accomplishments and their projects and the schools that they built and for a second you are going to feel jealous/ inferior/ inadequate... but then you are just going to feel damn proud.

I had this last one a few days ago while reading some posts on facebook. It isn’t a completely new feeling to me, and it’s something I have had a chat with a few people about, but here is what I am hoping: I am hoping that after a few hundred times about hearing about projects like that, and there will be at least a few thousand since everyone here is their own superman, my first emotion will be to be proud. I’m not a saint, and to say that I am there now would just be lying. It doesn’t mean I love my fellow volunteers any less, it doesn’t mean that I’m not confident in my own abilities to change the world (even though some days I’m not); but we have been raised to think that there is always a hidden addendum, that there is always a ladder to climb, and that has crafted my life view.

But here is the thing; Peace Corps isn’t about that, because the end game here is not to raise up one, but 

many. This means every accomplishment, every school, program and support group created by one of my amazingly smart and talented peers, is a win for me too. Reprogramming always takes a little bit of time, but I’m working on it. I want to dedicate this particular blog post to my fellow volunteers; former, current and future. You are a damn fine group of people and the caliber of your character gives me confidence in my own.

Rata Thata,

Tlotlo