When Home Became Scary

I was talking to my friend Boo on the phone the other day and at some point the idea of our impending COS date came up. I don’t know when it happened, if I woke up and things had just changed, or if it was a slow and gradual switch over, but at some point in the last 20 months, the idea of home became a little scary. Now let us be clear, when I say “home” I don’t mean my actual household filled with my loving family, I mean the general idea of moving back to the US. Boo agreed, and I doubt it is just the two of us.

Home used to be this big glorious infallible thing, but now the concept of it has become a little hazy and vague, and the idea of imagining what my life is going to be like is perplexing. Its like what thinking about Peace Corps in Botswana was going to be like before I left. My reality is in Botswana, my comfort zone is here, I have a job and a house, and people I enjoy spending time with. I have no job in the US, I'm going to end up moving back in with the parents for a little while, and there are a lot of different discoveries I have made over the past two years, and some that I made before but have now just started opening up to people about (maybe the distance makes me feel safe?) and they are going to change how I live my life. 

The Claire that left the states, the life she had, the perspectives she thought she held, and the actual mechanics of how she thought, are all gone. I get this is a part of living and growing up, I just think Peace Corps crams a bit more into two years than what would have happened had I staid home.

I remember before leaving for Botswana hearing a story from a girl who had a friend who had just gotten back from Peace Corps Madagascar. She was complaining about how this person had returned from Peace Corps and just couldn't talk about anything other than Madagascar. I remember how she rolled her eyes and spoke about how "it just came up in every conversation! I was like 'common! Talk about something else.'" What this individual failed to understand is that the majority of material that we draw on in everyday conversations and debates, comes from the past couple years of ones life. 

I don't want to sound like the douche bag that is trying to rub my experiences in everyone's faces, but if I am trying to contribute to a conversation on, lets say, transportation; it is completely possible that something like this comment will come out "I remember when a car we had rented to take my friends and I out of the bush broke down after helping run a youth camp in one of the more remote villages. We had to hitchhike on the back of a semi truck platform to get out of there." This happened a few weeks ago, and its not me trying to draw a similarity between myself and Indiana Jones, it is just a reality of how things work here.

You may be saying to yourself that this would be cool, and an interesting point in the conversation, but imagine hanging out with me and that kind of thing coming up regularly. I end up sounding like that bro who just came back from his eco-tourism vacation and makes a point to bring up the pygmy witch doctor he met, at every... possible... moment.

The other thing that freaks me out is that I am going to bore people. When people ask me about Peace Corps, they don't want to know all the details, the experiences, or how it changed me as a person. They want to know a quick 5 minute sound bite, and then move on to something they can relate to. I don't blame them, one way conversations blow. But Peace Corps is not a vacation for me, it is not me stepping out of my "real life" and then when I COS I will be going back to it. This was real, and not getting that kind of confirmation of my time is going to be difficult. 

Lastly, my independence. I have been living on my own, in my own little house, being in charge of only myself, for the past two years. This independence is made ever fiercer by the solitude that has accompanied it. I have spent a larger chunk of time being alone in the past two years, than any of my previous years on this earth. It has taught me a lot about myself and I will be forever grateful for the opportunity, but that suddenly comes to a halt come July 2014. The real kicker is that I am super social, I love talking with people and I am ABSOLUTELY that chick who will start random conversations with strangers whenever, and wherever possible. 

List of random places Claire has made new friends:

-Standing in line for Deal or No Deal try outs

-Airplanes

-While waiting to get on the Ellen Show at Christmas time

-At the movie theater

-Tailgates

-Elevators

-Amusement parks

-Post Offices

I'm just worried I won't know how to be that any more, or that I'm going to get overwhelmed. This whole idea is very overwhelming. I'm going back to a familiar place, but I'm no longer familiar within it, or with it for that matter. I know I'm lucky in a lot of ways, that I have parents to move back in with, that I have friends that are going to support me, that I have a sweatheart who has been out here, and who has been dealing with my freak outs as of late and so knows what they are getting themselves into (thanks honey.) Ultimately though, I have to figure out on a personal level how I fit back into America...or scarier yet...IF I fit back into America, and if I don't, where to next?

Thanks for tuning in, as ever. 

Hugs and smooches, 

Claire

p.s. Click here please, and then buy a book! Great Christmas idea: The GENDER book

A Eulogy For Wilson

I’ve always been known as the dramatic one in my family. I was really into being the center of attention as a child, and my Aunts never really let me forget about it. I like to think that I have gotten a bit better about this as I have gotten older, but I know I have my moments. I just have a lot of...emotion.

That all being said, my dog Wilson was put down yesterday.

I’m pretty sure that dogs are God’s way of letting us know that true happiness exists. They love us unconditionally, they give us comfort when we need it, and they are the only animal I can think of that becomes close companions with humans and whose souls attempt to outlive their bodies. I’m a dog person, in case you haven’t picked up on it. Wilson was the second dog I have ever known and he stuck with me through a lot, I think he deserves a few words, so I’m going to use this forum to give them to him.

We got Wilson after I tricked my Mom into checking out “volunteer options” at the Humane Society. We went, found out I needed to be at least 16 to volunteer on my own, and before heading back home I asked if we could check out the dogs inside. After significantly less push than I thought it would require, my Mother relented, and so we walked into the main building. We looked around the puppy room for a while and ogled at the cuteness that cannot be denied in the presence of tiny doggies, before heading into the larger kennel area. I remember seeing a long row of cages and slowly walking up and down seeing if anybody caught my eye.

My Mom was the one who found him, and when I think back, it really couldn’t have been any other way. He was laying down on the floor of his kennel, the only dog not pitching a fit, with his nose poking out between the mesh of the door. He wagged his tail when my Mom went to pet his muzzle, and I think that was pretty much the end of it. I remember her telling me I had to call my Dad while we were driving back in the car, and my Dad distinctly saying something about “No way, let me talk to your mother.” She confirmed it, and a few days later we were out there again so that the whole family could meet him.

I remember being disappointed that he wasn’t multicolored, I thought multi colored dogs were more interesting, maybe it was just because Jessie, our first dog, was a german shepard mix. Wilson was jet black, with a long coat like a golden retriever, and it wouldn’t take long for me to find out he was not at all lacking in the personality department. Dad always speculated (after getting compliments from multiple dog owners) that he was a pure bred black coat retriever and that we could have made money off his puppies if only we hadn’t chopped his balls off. I have no doubt in my mind that Wilson, had we known him then, would have been the most adorable, fuzz ball of a puppy.

We brought him home after the mandatory waiting period expired on him as a stray. We literally adopted him on his first day on the market; we knew a dog like this wouldn’t have lasted long at the shelter. We were heading up north so he went to stay with my Aunt and Uncle for a while. He caused a ruckus, broke out of the house through the screened in porch and ran lose around the neighborhood until later that evening. I maintain to this day that Wilson would get more excited when my Uncle Bill and Aunt Beth came over, than any other visitor, because he remembered them.

He finally came home with us, and after a week or so settled in wonderfully. His name at the pound had been "Noah" but my family are "Home Improvement" fans, and "Cast Away" had just came out, so we decided on the name Wilson. Wilson loved to run through the park, in the woods, around the neighborhood when he got out, wherever. He loved water, though it seemed to perplex the living day lights out of him since we would doggy paddle around and then snap or bark when he splashed himself in the face. He loved butt rubs, and would lean into whichever side you happened to be scratching him on. For the first and only time, my siblings and I fought over who got to walk him first. 

But I think the most remarkable thing about Wilson, was that he seemed to sense emotion better than any dog I have ever known. The most poignant example of this happened in my senior year in high school. I came home after having a conversation with a good friend who happened to have a rare form of cancer called osteogenic sarcoma. My friend had gathered three of us around to let us know that hospice was moving in, and that she didn’t expect to live much longer. It was, and remains to be, the most heartbreaking conversation I have ever had in my life. I managed to keep it together in the car as another friend drove me home, but the second I got inside I collapsed onto our couch sobbing uncontrollably. My family immediately cocooned me with love, including Wilson. He paced in front of the couch and as soon as there was space, climbed up (in that way where he thought he was being sneaky, but he was really too big for that at this point) he started to lick my face and snuggle into me.

He may not have known exactly what was going on, but he knew I needed him, and that was all that mattered. He did the same thing on the day of her funeral, and every time I needed a moment of comfort in the months following, he was there. Wilson was the fluffy reminder that there is such thing as unconditional love at those moments when my family seemed to need it most. He greeted us with enthusiasm and excitement each time we walked through the door after a shitty day, he snuggled us on the couch when we were feeling cold (or if there was just an inch of space that wasn’t being occupied), he went on walks with us, he gave us kisses, and he let us know that we were his greatest source of joy and love when we felt like we couldn’t do anything right.

I have no doubt that if you have ever loved a dog, that they have done this for you as well. That is why dogs are amazing, that is why they are God’s fuzzy angels.

So you can imagine how it broke my heart to know that after 14 years on this earth, that is was time for Wilson to go home. And so yesterday, December 4^th, 2013, Wilson went to those endless fields in the sky, where tennis balls are forever thrown and belly rubs flow endlessly from a sea of loving hands. I won’t lie, it was hard to keep it in while reading the message from my Mom. I turned into this silently sobbing wreck in the corner of the library, and I can imagine the guys sitting at the table with me may have been a bit weirded out.

Its hard, I knew this was coming, but I was kind of hoping he would hold out till I got home to say "goodbye." It felt like for all the times he was there for me, I should be able to be there for him in this last moment. But I know he was surrounded by love, I know that my family did right by him, and I know that he has been chomping on turkey leftovers from Thanksgiving and working those big puppy dog eyes for extra treats since the cancer in his leg got bad. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard if I didn't miss home so badly anyways. 

So I walked back from work, dropped my stuff off, and did what any good Irish Catholic person would do in a time of loss. I bought a pint of whiskey, I made a ton of food, and I poured a shot out for my dog.  

Maybe it’s a little emotional, but it seemed like the right thing to do. 

Love, 

Claire

Gender Camp!

After I got back from Moz (and got over a brief resurgence of an old back injury from rowing that kicked up and put me on bed rest for almost a week) I had the chance to participate in an awesome youth camp down in Salajwe! A fellow volunteer named Mary asked me to come and talk to about 250 kids about the differences between sex and gender. It was going to be a two day event, with three one hour and 20 minute sessions a piece per day.

I have done this talk before but only in the context of talking to people about LGBTQ issues, so it needed a little tweaking. Part of being in Peace Corps is gauging the social climate of certain topics, and talking to kids about gender and sex in the context of its ability to be fluid across a spectrum, or the fact that there are people whose sex and gender don’t match up, would not only have gotten me into trouble but would have caused serious issues for Mary as the Volunteer placed at the school. So I changed the talk to focus on the idea that a lot of gender comes from perceived social assumptions, and not physical realities of someone’s sex, and that this shouldn’t limit someone nor skew someone’s view on others.

In order to do this I used an exercise out of a Life Skills manual that my friend Lindsay loaned me. I made up about 40 flash cards that had things on them like: Teacher, Pastor, Fixes the Car, Violent, Takes Orders, Has Babies, Cleans the House, Tends the Cattle, Makes Babies, Owns Lands, and Grows a Beard. Then I made two different colored cards that said “Girls and Women” and “Men and Boys.” I put one on one side of the chalk board, and one on the other, and then placed the rest of the cards face down in the front of the class. I had the students come up to the front, pick up a card and put it under one of the two categories. Afterwards we talked about the differences between physical realities of sex (if you are having a baby you have female sex organs) and jobs that they had “gendered” based on their opinions.

This conversation lead to WHY they had these opinions, things like culture, tradition, beliefs, religion, taboos and totems. We talked about how changing any one of these could create different assumptions. I told them about how my religion (Irish Catholic) meant that I couldn’t be a pastor, and that there were certain societies where women took leadership roles, and how traditional dress for certain societies for men involved wearing “skirt” type clothing (Scotts.) Depending on how much time we had, and how the class was reacting I asked them questions like “If I turned everyone here into a girl (for the guys)/ guy (for the girls), what would you miss about being your original sex? How would people treat you differently?” and “Is there a difference between a Motswana woman or man and an American woman or man?”

My favorite was, when trying to drive the point home, I asked a class about how they would react if one of the male students walked into the classroom wearing a dress. Everyone giggled, and then I asked them why? Botswana doesn’t have any laws about guys wearing dresses, dresses are comfortable, guys can physically accommodate wearing a dress, and when it is hot they keep you cooler than pants. I think this one really got the point home and got them thinking.

There were a lot of interesting points that happened in these lessons:

The first class to run the exercise, and every class afterwards, insisted that we have a middle column between the two.

I had slipped a “Making Babies” card in there expressly for the purpose of talking to the kids about the responsibilities that come with sex, since we had a volunteer running a safe sex class, and one on reproductive systems, so I thought it would be a nice tie in. I figured when I put this in there, that is would almost always go to “Girls and Women”, but to my surprise the card ended up all over the board, twice in the “Men” column.

I put the “Grows a Beard” card in the deck to have an example of something to do with sex for the guys, and in retrospect should have done something a little more clear cut than that because I had one student SERIOUSLY fight me on the idea that she had seen women who had grown beards down to their chest.

I only had one class that put almost every card in the middle, which kinda threw me off about the talk afterwards. You have to love it when students are already on top of what you are going to teach them.

It was an amazing experience and I had a lot of fun doing it. I think there might be something to this whole gender theory bit, and I’m wondering if maybe this is what I should go to graduate school for (if I end up going to graduate school at all.) I know that this type of work is something I would like to continue doing, and have started poking around for jobs that might include it. I was really thankful to have been a part of this camp, and I hope to be able to do so again before I leave.

Hugs and smooches,

Claire

p.s. Do YOU know the difference between sex and gender??

Win Me A Book!

Just wanted to remind everyone that the Indiegogo Campaign (its like Kickstarter) for The GENDER Book starts today!!! To pre-order your, your mother's, your father's, your dentist's, your doctor's, your priest's and your crazy Aunt Millie's copy go to: http://igg.me/at/thegenderbook/x/5580565

Also, consider linking this project up with people you think may be interested, as well as resource centers, libraries and other institutions. Below I have copy pasted the emails I sent out "around town" and you should feel free to use them! I included phrases that allude to the fact that I am in Peace Corps, because I feel like the organization lends itself to some sort of perceived moral high ground, and that I wouldn't just be a rando sending emails (my email signature has my job title in it.) 

At this point y'all may be asking about why a Peace Corps Volunteer is spending so much time plugging a project back in the states. The reason this is happening is because I believe that we need to do everything we can to support the projects, campaigns, and work of those we see improving the world, because a lot of times that work is thankless. I think educating people on gender in the US ultimately may lead to more educated people around the world, and that means Botswana benefits in a round about way. 

In a more direct way, I just ordered a copy that will be donated to the Rainbow Identity people here in Bots at the end of my service. 

So go purchase a book, and use the link pasted above because, if a ton of you do it, I could win a free copy, which I then promise to donate to an LGBTQ support group here.

Check back in here soon to hear about my Thanksgiving, how the gender camp in Salajwe went, and about the two new grants I am working on to start a tree nursery in my community and get the pre-school roof fixed! (And yes, you all will be asked to donate to that as well once it is up and running.)

Hugs and smooches, 
Claire
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Sent to: the district library system in my home town

Hello LIBRARY BOOK PURCHASE REQUEST CENTER, 

I just wanted to alert you guys to an awesome book project that I think you guys should get involved in; its called The GENDER Book, and they just launched their Indiegogo campaign today for the month of December. The book is an illustrated 101 guide to gender. In their words: 

"The GENDER book is a colorful visual primer on the world of gender. It's a 90-page, fully-illustrated, educational book that teaches - and unteaches - some of the basics of gender theory in a way that is super fun, non-judgy, and full of COLOR. It's a handsome hardback book that you can sit and read in one sitting." 

I don't know what the process is to get a book stocked in the INSERT LIBRARY NAME HERE, but they are currently only planning on printing copies that have been pre-ordered this month since it is a self funded project and bulk orders are cheaper. As someone who grew up in INSERT TOWN NAME HERE I think this is a resource that compliments the type of open, expressive education that the community is a fan of, and I believe that this could be an AMAZING book for teens that want to learn about gender or who may be struggling with identity issues of their own. I'm currently using the e-book while working with LGBTQ youth in Botswana while serving in the US Peace Corps. 

This is the website: http://igg.me/at/thegenderbook/x/5580565

Just thought I would let you guys know about the project, would love to see this stocked when I come home!

Much Love from a Life Long DISTRICT LIBRARY NAME fan, 
Claire  
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Sent to: the MSU Library Resource Referral Person, it was accompanied by a standard information form.

I know I just referenced you guys to a kickstarter campaign but its only because I think having a gender education resource like this would benefit both the student and overall community at Michigan State and in East Lansing. This book could be used as a basic building block for gender research, and as a personal research guide for students and community members who may be exploring gender (theirs or other peoples.) As an Alumni I would love to see this stocked in our collection! Needs to be ordered this month though, so please put try and put a rush on whatever process needed to purchase a book, and check out the page I listed in the "Publisher" box. Thanks so much!
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Sent to: A form on my former public school system's website, asking for suggestions

I think NAME OF PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM should look into stocking "the GENDER book" in your High School libraries (maybe even for the Middle Schools as well?) It is a wonderful 101 resource on gender that could be used for students who might be interested in gender, or who may have questions about their own. They have an Indiegogo campaign this month for pre-orders since it is a community funded project. 

http://igg.me/at/thegenderbook/x/5580565

As an  Alumni I would love to see this resource available to students!

Thanks, 
Claire
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Sent to: LGBTQ Student organizations and resource centers for University of Michigan and Michigan State

Hello ___________ Center, 

I wanted to bring your attention to a possible resource you might be interested in called "the GENDER book." In the creators words it is:

"A colorful visual primer on the world of gender. It's a 90-page, fully-illustrated, educational book that teaches - and unteaches - some of the basics of gender theory in a way that is super fun, non-judgy, and full of COLOR. It's a handsome hardback book that you can sit and read in one sitting."

They just launched an Indiegogo Campaign at: http://igg.me/at/thegenderbook/x/5580565

I'm trying to get the word out because I think this could be a wonderful resource for the entire community and would love to see it around the TOWN NAME area. I don't know if you have a physical resource collection, but you should add this to it if so! I also figured you might be the ones to contact in order to get in touch with interested parties in the LOCAL AREA Trans* community.

I hope you will consider supporting the campaign, and that all is going well state side! (I added a "Go Green!" to the one for MSU because I am a Spartan for life and this is the customary sign off.)

~Claire

The GENDER book Kickstarter!

Working with the LGBTQ community in Botswana has been, hands down, some of the most rewarding moments in my service. I say this not only out of love for the individuals I have met, but also through a deep seated peace that comes with knowing that this kind of work is important and making a difference.

That being said I would like to be able to continue working within the community when I get home, and what better way to do that than to use my wonderful little blog land here as a stage to gives props (hehehe) to an AMAZING project called The GENDER Book.

I know I have mentioned this project once or twice before but I want to really give you a run down (in case you haven't already checked out their website at: www.thegenderbook.com) especially seeing as they are now counting down to their Kickstarter campaign! So, what is The GENDER Book you ask? Let me, let their press release explain:

"The GENDER book is a colorful visual primer on the world of gender. It has been called "clear enough for your mom to understand, real enough to hit home on every page." (Lily Hiott-Millis, buzzfeed.com.) It discusses terms such as drag queen, drag king, intersex, genderqueer, and transgender in a way that is accessible, nonjudgemental, and demystifying. This 90-page, fully illustrated book is made to be enjoyed in one sitting as it follows the adventures of the main character Boston's personal gender exploration. The GENDER book is the result of countless hours of research, more than 200 questionnaires, and dozens of one-on-one interviews with members of the communities depicted in the book. The result represents an agreement of many diverse community voices and a huge step forward in the world of gender education." 

The campaign starts on December 1st and will be the only time that you are able to pre-order your very own, limited first edition, hard cover, ass kickin' copy!! The campaign itself is being used to be able to fund the print costs and will also enable backers to donate copies to school and libraries and resource centers. WHAT IS ABSOLUTELY MIND BLOWING about this whole dealio is that the creators of this book, Mel Reiff Hill, Jay Mays, and Robin Mack, have fully committed to keeping the ebook version free for all.

I want y'all to stop and think about this for a moment. The creators of this amazing, global improvement, gender education goodness are SO committed to what this project is, and what it is going to do, and the information it provides, the gap that it is going to fill in the swiss cheese like system we call gender education that they want to do it for free. They want to make this wide spread not because they are making a living off of this but because they know how badly a resource like this is needed. Peeps, I have seen the websites, and the facebook/twitter/tumblr pages, and I signed up to be a Gender Scout a couple of months ago. This was not a small undertaking, nor a minor hobby, nor something to take up spare hours of the weekend. Its big, and it has the ability to be bigger, but only if you help out and do your part.

Hell, I signed up for Peace Corps, but at least my rent gets covered. 

Here is a reason we need The GENDER book: 

"Dispute on Transgender Rights Unfolds at a Colorado School"

and this one:

"Transgender Woman Found Murdered in Detroit"

and this one:

We all have a limited number of days to walk around God's green earth, and the faster we start realizing that only by loving, respecting, empowering, and uplifting those around us, can we truly be loved, respected, empowered and uplifted ourselves. Sometimes this takes some education, and anything we can do to help that process along is a step in the right direction. 

So here is what I am asking you to do: pre order a copy when the Kickstarter Campaign launches, then order one for someone else as a Christmas present! Then go out and talk to everyone you know who works in a school, counseling office, library, or someone who you think could benefit from this information (so basically everyone you know) and tell them about The GENDER book. This is what I want for Christmas, truly and really (take note family!)

Mom: would your school be interested in having a

copy?

Aunt D: How about your office?

A2 Public Schools: GET ON BOARD!

LW: Would Manchester be interested?

I'm going to try and get a list together of businesses and organizations that should know about this and send them all an email. I will post the copy up here so that y'all can use it too! I will be spending this next week talking to a couple hundred high schoolers about the differences between gender and sex, and hopefully teaching/ empowering them to be comfortable in exactly the skin they are in, and to revel in the chaotic perfection that goes into any given human being. This can be a global movement! Seriously though, this project is Claire approved and if I can promote from Bots, you sure as heck can bring it up prior to slipping into a tryptophan induced coma.

Here is the promotion page/ count down timer for the event: The GENDER book Kickstarter Campaign as well as their other social media sites:
Facebook
Tumblr
Twitter

Be thankful for exactly who you are, because I sure as hell am thankful for you :) 

Hugs and smooches all, happy almost Thanksgiving, 

Claire

The Wonderful Land of Moz

I made it back from Mozambique safely! I know I didn’t post it up here, but a couple of months ago a few friends approached me about planning a trip to Mozambique, and since their time frame worked well with my schedule I figured ‘why not?’ By the time we actually got down to leaving for the trip, two weeks ago, I was a bit of a stressed out mess, and the Moz trip was kind of my “light at the end of the tunnel.”

I tried to think of a way to write this post so that it comes off as entertaining and insightful, not too boring to read, but also letting you know details...what I came up with is that I just need to post a ton of pictures, so that is what I am going to do.

This was what our walk home in the evening looked like

The first leg of the trip consisted of the four of us meeting up in Gabs and then catching a bus down to Joburg. For informational purposes to my fellow volunteers or travelers, let me make quick note that there are a few ways to do this: Intercape leaves-6am, from Kudu gas station at Main Mall, arrives around noon/ 1 o’clock and costs about p230. TJs leaves at 8am, from the rank, arrives around 2pm, and costs p200 (no longer an option.) There is also a regular combi system that leaves from the rank whenever they fill up and costs p200. We took the Intercape because it seemed like the easiest option, and after a quick stopover in Pretoria, got to the Joburg bus station around 1pm.

Chad, Boo and Aimee, starting our
vacation off right!

From there we met up with a friend of a friend named Alex, who is pretty much living the do-gooder dream in South Africa while being self employed in the social and urban development scene. She gave us the run down on where we should check out, and what we should do and what we should avoid doing in order not to turn into a mugging statistic in some back alley somewhere. We left our packs at her place and after very little debate decided that the best way to enjoy ourselves before catching our night bus was to go to a place called “SAB World of Beer” which was just a couple of blocks over.

Chad and I enjoying a beer

People of the interwebs, this place was pretty much a Disney land attraction for adults, themed around beer, we hit the jackpot! We caught a tour just as it was leaving and the first room you walk into is modeled to look like the inside of an ancient Egyptian pyramid. After reading a little bit about the “first beers” we sat down to watch a 3D looking animated flick that told us how beer saved the world. I’m not even kidding with this last part, they literally said “sit down and find out how beer saved the world.” Something that I had always felt in my heart, but didn’t have proof of until now.

The whole tour was hilarious, it cost R65, and we got a commemorative glass (that came filled with beer), and two vouchers to get drafts at the end of the tour on a deck that has some pretty cool views of the city.

It was a great idea, and we had a really fun time. It truly felt like the first real step in our vacation and as we raised a glass over a bowl of peanuts, we toasted to what we knew was going to be a fabulous trip.

We caught the night bus from Joburg to Maputo at 10pm at night, big double decker, air conditioned, wonderfulness. We used Intercape again and I think it cost us about p310. Leave at 10pm, wake up at 8am in Maputo! Maputo is the capital of Mozambique, we were staying the night at Fatima's, and since we got in so early, we wanted to do a bit of exploring.

Aimee was pumped about the seafood

It is at this point I would like to issue a travel warning for people working their way through Moz: if you are in the capital, make sure you keep your passport locked safely somewhere, and that you carry around with you just a copy. If you get stopped by the cops and you show them the copy and they say it has to be notarized, or they will have to bring you in (unless of course you give them everything in your wallet), tell them to bring you in. The cops in Mozambique are corrupt, or at least this is what we heard at practically every turn, and though we didn’t run into any trouble, we talked to a few people who had.

fish market!

So we made our way to the fish market. Let me make it clear that one of the top objectives for everyone on this trip, was to eat as much seafood as humanly possible. Bots is landlocked, and unless you live up near the delta where there are river fish, getting any sort of seafood is impossible. Mozambique on the other hand has a long luxurious ocean coast line, which means it has nommy seafood coming out of its ears. We found the
fish market, and pretty much toppled over each other to look at everything and haggle prices (another thing you can do in Moz that you can’t do in Bots.) We ended up buying a half kilo of crab, half kilo squid, half kilo calms and half kilo of fish, which we turned around and brought to one of the restaurants to cook up for us. I highly suggest anyone traveling here do the same, they cook it up for you and charge by the kilo and if you are any good at all with negotiating prices, you will end up saving yourself a lot of money.

We sat under a canopy and enjoyed the hustle and bussle around us, as plate after delicious plate of aquatic amazingness was brought out to us. You would have thought that we hadn’t been fed in years based on how quickly we devoured everything.

Bags hanging in the market

We decided this just wasn’t going to be enough so before leaving we stopped into the market again and bought things to make a giant salad, as well as a kilo of prawns and calamari to cook up in the hostels kitchen. Caught a cab back to the hostel, dropped everything in the fridge and then went out again to check out the craft market. The craft market was cool, and had I not been living in Bots for the past year and a half, I might have been a bit more impressed, but ultimately it was stall after stall of the same things, and prices that were inflated to a ridiculous degree. A few of us found some good deals, but I think this was mostly due to the fact that it is low tourist season (December and January are high season) at the moment, and so everyone is itching for money.

Our awesome curry prawn calamari!

We walk back to the hostel and on the way pick up some curry and rice. Maputo is a lovely city to stroll through and it seems like every street is just lined with people wanting to sell you fresh produce, so we were all leaving a drool trail along the road. We just don’t have those kinds of vegetables in Botswana.We cooked an amazing meal of coconut, curry prawns and calamari, with a huge house salad, while each tossing back a few more beers. I think the people around us were a bit surprised to see such a major undertaking going on, but PCVs tend to know how to work together and the effort put into the food made itself clear while dancing across our taste buds and into our bellies.

Peace Corps will teach you to sleep
ANYWHERE

Next morning, wake up at the crack of butt to catch a combi to Tofo, our main destination. Fatima’s had a bus that went directly from their place in Maputo to their hostel in Tofu, but we thought we could save a little money by going to the rank. We were wrong, if you are doing this trip, just take the bus from the hostel. After 7hrs on the bus, we pulled into Tofo, made our way to the first beach access and ran directly into the ocean while fully clothed. I grew up in Michigan, the Great Lakes State; and never in my life have I been more than a 20min drive from a major body of water that I could swim in. Being in Botswana is like sucking all the soul water from my body and the only way to put it back is by running into bodies of water whenever humanly possible.

The water was AMAZING! This was my first time in the Indian Ocean, and there wasn’t even a slight shock when we went in, it was just warm, and salty and welcoming. We splashed around for a bit, put our packs back on and started huffing it down the beach towards our lodge.

the view from a much more expensive lodge that we did not stay in

$5 fancy drinks at above lodge

We made it to Bamboozi, and found out that we were pretty much the only ones there, aside from our new travel buddy that we had met back in Maputo. We booked ourselves into the dorm, freshened up a bit (they had hot showers!!! ...Well, they had hot showers before 10am in the morning, and after 4:30pm at night because those were the only times that the lodge had electricity.) Then we took the restaurant recommendation of a friend and wandered around until we found a little place called Tofo Tofo.

Tofo craft market

We ended up eating here 4 times over the course of the week. It is kind of the place to go, and it attracts a fun mix of tourists, divers and locals, and the prices are completely reasonable. The first night we did a family style dinner and ordered a MT700 seafood platter (for those keeping track that translates to about $20), clams, and clamari. The seafood platter we got pretty much every time we went because it came with lobster, fish, crab cakes, fried calamari heads, garlic calamari rings, prawns, and crayfish with a side of rice and chips. Every night you get a little something different, but every night it is amazing. To save us some time on food descriptions, because this post is now approaching the 2000 word mark here is what we ordered at one time or another at Tofo Tofo: seafood pasta, tuna fillet, tuna salad, curried fish, prawns, clams, and everything that was mentioned above. I don’t think I spent more than $25 USD on any meal we had there, and the average was really closer to $10.

Being silly

That night we met up with a bunch of Peace Corps Mozambique Volunteers who happened to be congregating in Tofo to throw a COS party for a group of theirs that was heading out. It was really fun meeting volunteers from another country, though I have to say that hearing about some of their sites, especially ones that were on or close to beach, made all of us a little green with envy.

y'all have no idea how badly
I flipped when I saw this at the
gas station!

The week continued on with the epicness with which is started. We sat on the beach, visited the craft market in Tofo, ate a ton of seafood, took walks along the shoreline, drank beers with the locals, swam in the ocean and generally let out a huge, collective sigh of relief that, not only were we not in Botswana any more, but that we picked a place that looked like it was the theme for every tropical postcard you have ever seen. I’m going to give you a rundown of what I believe were the three major highlights of the trip, going from least to most mind blowing.

Me checking out a mussel

#3: After meeting up with one of the local guys who hangs out at Bamboozi, he offered to let us come over to house, and watch/ help him prepare a traditional meal. He offered us a wildly fair price, and so on Wednesday morning we trucked over to Bernardo’s house and helped him make some food. Traditional food in Moz is slightly different than Bots. Instead of bean leaf morogo, they have something called mathapa, which is another green leafy substance that can be mashed up and cooked inside a pot. It isn’t as bitter as morogo, and all of us agreed that we were big fans of the stuff. During this whole process we learned how to dehusk a coconut, crack it open, gut the flesh, and make coconut milk which was pretty cool. We also picked up a few words of Ntonga, which is the native village language of the area (though everyone speaks Portuguese as well.)

traditional meal

The meal was awesome, we had mathapa, rice, crab, mussels, salad, bread and beer. Bernardo’s family was a pleasure to be around, and watching Bernardo work was also pretty wonderful. We ate in a frond woven, open air, outdoor hut, and left feeling completely full, and a few belt notches larger.

#2: The second night we were in Tofo we were all hanging out on the porch at Bamboozi that overlooks the beach. We were drinking some of the local Tipo Tinto Rum (you get 500ml for MT60, or $2, and I’m pretty sure it kills at least a few brain cells.) At some point in the night someone mentioned that there must be a car on the beach, because you could look down and see what appeared to be tire tracks. We didn’t pay much mind until we were starting to wrap things up. It was then that we realized that the thing leaving the tracks was not at all a car, and was in fact, still on the beach. We all raced down from the porch and found to our delight a GIGIANTIC LEATHERBACK SEA TURTLE!

Leatherback

I cannot stress to you, how mind blowingly cool this was. She was about the size of a go kart, and when we got down there it appeared she had come up to lay her eggs. She was easily a ton or two, and yet was able to repeal herself through the sand using her flippers. Even the local guys we were with were freaking out, since none of them had seen a turtle that size ever either. We took a few pictures, watched her for a bit, and at some point she turned around and started heading back to the sea without ever having laid any of her eggs. We were all buzzing with what had to be a rare wildlife encounter high.

tracks

The next day, we were at the Liquid Adventures dive shop inquiring about some fun activities and we mentioned the turtle. Nadia (the manager at the dive shop) thought it was cool, and said that we had probably seen a lager head turtle, and that they were somewhat common around these parts, but that seeing one on the beach was a special treat. Aimee whipped out her camera to show her a picture and Nadia’s jaw pretty much dropped to the ground. “HOLY F&%$, THAT’S A LEATHERBACK!” was her response, and immediately told us to get in touch with the Marine Mega Fauna people, who have an office in Tofo.

The Mega Fauna people were just as blown away, and came up the next day to see the tracks that were still left on the beach. At this point we were all kind of feeling a bit bad that we might have scared this momma turtle off from laying her eggs, but it turns out she wasn’t nearly as far up the beach as she would have needed to be, and that since the beach is still relatively public, it is probably a good thing she didn’t build a nest there. They got copies of all of our pictures, and thanked us a ton for letting them know about the sighting. They haven’t seen a leatherback anywhere in two breeding seasons, and two of the people we have talked to have never seen a leatherback at all. This was mainly due to the fact that locals poach both the eggs and the turtles themselves, and the population has slowly been dwindling. As a quick plug, if you are interested in volunteering with the Marine Megafauna people in Tofo, or just going to one of their tri-weekly marine lectures while you are visiting, check out their website:

http://www.marinemegafauna.org/

After that you must be wondering what #1 is going to be, I mean, how the heck do you beat seeing a turtle on the endangered species list, up close and personal?

You get up close and personal with something bigger J

#1, on Claire’s Mind Blowing Stuff We Did on Vacation is...I swam with TWO, HUGE, Whale Sharks.

Peter's camera was broken but this is what it looked like
(plus a hyperventilating, flailing ginger chick) 

Tofo is an amazing place not only because of its picturesque beaches, amazing food, friendly locals, and chilled out vibe. It also happened to be a place where you can watch humpback whales migrate as well as swim with whale sharks. We were going to pass this once in a life time opportunity up, so we signed up for an ocean safari and hoped for the best. Safaris of any kind, in any country, are a tricky business. You are relying on animal behavior to create an attraction, and animal behavior is relatively unpredictable; so we knew going into this, that there was a chance that we wouldn’t seen any, in fact the outing the day before our trip had come back with just that...diddly.

You can't see him, but there is a whale
shark under us

We geared up at the Liquid, and walked down to the beach to board our boat. This thing was pretty much an oversized life raft, with an on board motor, which I thought was cool because it seemed more authentic than some sort of tug boat deal. There is not a single dock in Tofo, which is awesome. They took us out of the bay and around the corner, and we all just kind of sat out there and enjoyed the ride. Then our guide, Peter, starts exclaiming “Whale shark! Whale shark! Put on your masks!” The captain drives us a few meters in front of the thing and we are told to fall in backwards and “LOOK DOWN!” It was all crazy hectic, but I managed to get myself in the water, adjust my snorkel, and look down.

This was the part when I almost crapped myself. A huge, 6meter whale shark is swimming directly at us, and

In my mind though, I like to think I looked like this 

in the briefing it had been made clear that these things are big, so they aren’t going to move for you, you have to move for it. We all scramble to get out of the way, and I attempted to talk myself down from hyper ventilating. Peter said we could swim along with them as long as we could, or until it dives back down deep. This first foray into the water I have to say that I was a little freaked so I probably surfaced too soon, but as soon as I did I see Peter pointing at another spot in the water not too far from me and yelling that he sees another one.

I can’t remember if they collected and dropped us again or if I just swam over, all I know is that when I looked down again, the first guy had circled around, and the new whale shark friend was hanging out. At this point I have two 6-7meter whale sharks in my line of sight. It is overwhelming, you both want to cry and giggle, and even though you know logically that these giants of the deep aren’t going to eat you, it is still shaped like a shark, and it is hard to override your biological reaction of “holy ball sac, this thing is going to eat me and I need to get out of the water right now.” After the third dive in though, you get used to it, and by the last go around I swam next to one for somewhere between 15-20mins.

Cultural Center in Inhabane (we took
a day trip there.)

They are amazing creatures, big and majestic, and powerful. Their mouths could easily swallow a human, and yet all they want are plankton...a butt load of plankton. We lucked out, even after climbing into the boat a final time, we saw another two on our way back to shore. It is the most Peter had seen pretty much all season in one outing, and because we went out in the afternoon, we didn’t even have to share the water with another tour boat. I was on an animal high for the rest of the day, and most of the day afterwards, and am currently smiling just remembering it all.

Cool old theater in Inhabane

Lastly, a few days in we took a side trip to Inhabane, which is just a 40 min (very crowded) combi ride away from Tofo. It was a cool little spot, and we picked up some cash at the ATM while strolling around. Aimee and Boo and I went on an epic hunt for ice cream (which we found) and it was nice hanging out on the pier and walking through the market. We also found super cheap mathapa, a really cool looking theater, and a beautiful cultural center. If you happen to be in the area we were also told it would be worth the ferry ride to go to Mashishi, which apparently is the place that all the vendors get their craft goods. We were just in for the day so we opted out, but the boat ride would have been pretty fun. Heads up: the whole town follows siesta so don't try and go shopping between 2-5pm!

cramming into the combi

It was an amazing trip, and one that I didn’t even really know I needed that badly. I am now back in Rams safe and sound, and feeling like I can tackle the next 7 months with renewed vigor. Ultimately I have a wonderful array of stepping stones that are going to lead up to the end of my service here, and Moz was just the first one. I’m coming home for Christmas next month, my parents and my Mom’s friend Kristin are coming out to visit in February, our group has our COS conference in March, and then I am going to Indonesia and Thailand for a month after service. This trip for me is marking not so much the beginning of the end, but more the beginning of the downhill. I have about 4 projects I would like to see fully accomplished before I close out, and after that I am no longer going to be trying to accomplish much more here.

Looking for humpbacks

A few notes with that: I have officially decided not to seek an extension on my service here. I have a family and someone special to get home to, and I think my time in Botswana has been enough for me. I know I have been on and off about this over the past few months, but I decided a few weeks ago that it is time for the next chapter, and I’m both petrified and looking forward to it.

For those of you that actually made it to the end of this post, thank you for reading! Hope all is well, wherever you may be.

Hugs and smooches,
Claire

p.s. for info purposes: we took intercape back to Joburg, and then took the last combi from Joburg to Gabs. I do NOT recommend staying in the neighborhood that the Joburg bus rank is located in for any longer than you have to, and unless it is early in the day, you are risking it with the combi because if it doesn't fill up, it won't leave and the Bots border closes as 12pm (it takes about 5hrs to get there from the rank.)

you have no idea how many times we
had to try this to get it right

New Rainy Beginnings

This is me sitting outside the library (I poked the assistant into letting me keep the gate key and return it to him when I am done) with my jacket over my head and computer, because today, ladies and gentleman, it rained.

It has been a rough couple of weeks here, I have been having a lot of self confidence issues, some questions about the future, and a few medical problems. I keep wondering if people around me think I am weird in a not so good way. I feel like I am back in high school again.

But today is a new day, and today is my day, and today it rained.

I can not describe what it is like the first day it rains here, at least not in words that someone who has not lived without rain for nearly 9 months could ever understand. The rain settles down the dust, and cools the air. It brings life to the soil and the people, it is like a new year, a new feeling, a new season. The rain here comes at a time when the cattle are thinning out, and people have become tense (the rain this year came a month later than it did last year, and last year it was also considered "late.") It brings with it a sense of relief that is felt throughout the community, it brings hope for the new season of crops, and the possibility of life to an often barren land.

It brings green

Over the next few weeks the green in my now very orange and dusty village, will explode as if it has been waiting for the invitation to pounce. It will race down our dusty main road, creep up the rocks in the hills, and envelop every yard and tree it touches. It will expand and breath and live and flourish, it will make the African heat that follows the rains, just bearable; as if God is saying "I know its hot, but look how beautiful it is."

So I am going to take this rain and make it my own. I'm going to allow it to wash off the emotionally crap filled last few weeks, and make room for something new, something green, something fresh. I'm going to breath in the air anew, and let is fill my lungs with possibility. This is the beginning, this is the end, this is today and today it rained.

~Claire

Road Not Taken

"Art is the conversation between lovers.

Art offers an opening for the heart.

True art makes the divine silence in the soul

Break into applause."

~Hafiz

This month’s self improvement theme has been music, which means that I have actually looked up lessons on how to play the harmonica on youtube, sang out loud (instead of just in my head) every night, and will be getting my hands on a ukulele tuner within the next few days. All of this music making has got me thinking about my “lost love” or more so, the path not taken.

For those of you who are not in the group of family and friends that are close to me, it may surprise you that I was once pretty “into” music. Not only was I “into” music, but I was into musical theater, and choir and an a cappella group and that I have a long standing, on again, off again relationship with guitar. In high school I was a part of 6 major musicals (including an opera), 3 variety shows, a competition short, and once performed at Disney World as a part of a singing group, The Loreleis. All of this accumulated in me auditioning for about a dozen musical theater programs at the start of my senior year in high school. I was wait listed at one, and rejected from the rest.

At this point in my little story I would like to point out that the largest program I auditioned for took 30 people a year; 15 boys and 15 girls, and that is pretty much the standard when it comes to programs like that; thousands of people competing for between 5-15 spots. Getting into musical theater college is hella hard, and the vast majority of people end up more like me and less like Rachael on “Glee.”

So I quickly came up with a contingent plan and applied last second to Michigan State and DePaul and happened to get my Michigan State acceptance first, so I took it. This ended up being one of the best happenings in my life because I found James Madison Residential College, and learned that my passion for culture, people and politics was equally as intoxicating. I briefly attempted to get into the MSU Jazz program as a double major but got a “delayed rejection” (whatever the hell that means.) I sang in a few competitions and made a little bit of money, but mostly relegated my musical career to karaoke nights, the shower and, once I moved into an apartment, the kitchen.

My love affair with singing and music has never completely let up, and had I not gotten into Peace Corps when I did, my back up plan was to go audition for American Idol in South Carolina. I think about it a lot, this road not taken. I think about what would have happened had I tried a little harder, focused a little more, studied for my auditions a few hours a day instead of a few hours a week, or just continued to try and fight even after getting rejected. Singing still fills my soul in ways that I have yet to see matched in much, though talking about political ethics and cultural comparisons comes damn close, and there are times when not to sing at any given moment can be painful in ways that only an artist could understand.

But then I think about where I am now, and what I am doing. Had I gotten into a musical theater program I would not be talking to all of you through this blog. I wouldn't be Botswana because I never would have joined the Peace Corps. I wouldn't be self studying on gender, queer theory, social dynamics, and expression because I would be boning up for auditions in whatever major city I had moved to after graduation. I don’t think I would have had the type of work ethic that is needed to really make it in that business. I know people, and have friends that are doing it, and I look at them at times a wonder where all the energy comes from.

This month has been wonderful so far, because I have forced myself into a regular musical practice again, and I think I will continue to do so for the rest of my service. When I get back to Michigan I’m going to look into doing some community theater, and the karaoke will for continue. Who knows? Maybe the path not taken will loop around to me again in ways I’m not expecting?

As a way to try and get people to comment more, I'm going to offer this up: if four or more people comment on this post, I will sing into my web cam and post it up here for everyone. You may like my singing, you may not like my singing, but either way you will get it if you comment! Will also keep me accountable to my goal this month :)

Just some thoughts for the day.

Hugs and smooches,

Claire