Email

I have been getting pretty positive feedback on an email I sent out to the list of family and friends I sed updates to, so even though most of you who actually come here have already received this in your inboxes, I figured I would put it out there for the lowly, cyber traveler who might stumble on this blog. This will not be replacing the awesome 1 year post I am planning to put up next month!

Hello Everyone,

I know it has been incredibly long since I have sent one of these out, but considering the amount of writing I have been doing lately I hope you will all forgive me. This particular update is going to be more into what is going on in my head and less about my actual life adventures at this point in time. If you are interested in some crazy stories, feel free to check out my blog, though it is certainly not for the weak of heart (just a heads up.)

I’m closing in on the 1 year in country mark, and shortly after that point I will be in the 1 year left in country mark. It seems like only yesterday that I was making tearful goodbyes in our kitchen to many of you, and when I think back on the stress, anticipation and general feeling that I had no idea what I was doing, it pretty much gives me something short of a heart attack. But I have made it here, and largely in part to the love and support coming from home. Your letters, care packages, and words of encouragement get me through the rough days and make the good days that much brighter. I have learned an insane amount about myself this past year, and I have the feeling I am in store for more of the same with the year coming up. That being said I wanted to share with you a few reflections.

The plan when I left for Peace Corps was to do my two years, come back, go to graduate school for a Masters in International Relations or Public Health or something in development, get a job, work abroad for a few years and then settle down in the domestic offices of some sort of international organization. That was 11.5 months ago though. J At this point I am thinking about possibly doing a third year in Peace Corps assuming I can get a position in one of the two organizations I am interested in working with. Now, I don’t want to freak any of you out, in all likelihood that isn’t going to happen, and I’m not at the point where I am a volunteer who will stay an extra year for any and all work positions, but it is something that is on my radar at this point and I will keep you all informed.

When I do get back state side my thoughts are to try and take a year to make a living as a writer. With my blog, letters home, email updates, journaling, novel writing month, and other blog, I have realized that I actually very much enjoy putting pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, and writing things down. I want to try this out. I think, in part, my want to get a Masters was from the idea that I needed to get one, that it was the next logical step. I have found that logical people don’t really join Peace Corps though, so why stick to something that is no longer applicable? At this point a few of you may be reminiscing about my musical theater dream and asking yourself if I have some sort of masochistic want to be a starving artist. My answer to you is: ...yeah, probably. This may involve being a professional waitress for a year, but I would rather give it a go and see if I can be happy with the lifestyle than look back, thousands of dollars more in debt, with a graduate degree I may or may not be using, and wonder “what if?”

Part of this revelation has come from the realization that I really don’t want to work in development. The mental taxation that comes along with making a career in ANYTHING that involves trying to get people to change their behavior is immense. This goes for jobs from weight loss experts, to social workers, to psychologists, and I take my tukwi (head covering) off for those of you reading this who know what I am talking about. I’m happy to be having this experience, and it has taught me a ton about the human condition, but trying to get someone to use a condom, or get tested for HIV, or use an new form of education in order to save their own life and the lives of others, and then more often than not watching them fail, is heartbreaking. I have conversations with the other volunteers my age about how we are going to relate to most of our peers stateside when all of this is said and done. It usually goes something like this:

“Can you imagine what the first power outage back home is going to be like?”

“Yeah, everyone is going to be freaking out that the toilet won’t fill and the air conditioning doesn’t work and I’m going to be squatting naked in the corner of the backyard wondering why people are lookin at me funny.”

“Or when we have to actually work a 9-5 in an office again?”

“You mean we can’t be professional goat watchers anymore?”

“No... probably not.”

“Or when we have access to hot water, a dish washer, a laundry machine, and personal cars again?”

*group sigh* “laundry machines”

That of course is not to say that the job I have in mind is an easy one. If I had my druthers, and the ability to write my own career plan (which at this point in my life, I do), I think I would probably be a human rights foreign correspondent. It’s a copout, I know; and if you disagree, here is why. Worrying about getting people information is about a bajillion times easier than worrying about getting people to use that information. I still want to be a part of the process of global education, I just don’t want to be an enforcer any more. I am lucky enough to be serving in a country that has a relatively good human rights record; the same cannot be said for countries that are neighboring this one. This especially goes for LGBT populations in Africa, which is what I want to focus on.

No matter what you may think about gay marriage or adoption rights, I would hope that the majority of people reading this email don’t believe that someone should be beaten, hung, shot or raped for their sexual orientation. This is happening on this continent, and it is going largely unnoticed. Having made friends with some of the activists in the capital here has been eye opening. Though Botswana doesn’t really have a record of violence towards lesbians, gays, bisexuals or transgendered individuals, it has none the less has outlawed it in its penal code. Though I know that there are gross violations of human rights every day and countries that experience genocide and mass murder and ethnic cleansing, I’m interested in this portion of the field because it asks many cultural and religious questions, and is met by incredibly sane and educated people with an incredible amount of indifference. I also believe that it is fast becoming the most “every day” form of human rights violation.

But we can chat more on that later.

When it all comes down to it though I think the biggest lesson I have learned on an individual human level is that I have the ability to be an incredibly flexible person, and that after this there are going to be few places in the world that I wouldn’t be able to hunker down and make a life in. Doesn’t mean I will want to, but the possibilities have become much broader. This sorta came to me in a flash of inspiration while with my “jalking” club (we do joggy kinda walks) and thinking back onto how far I have come with my community integration from when I moved here. I live in Africa, I have conversations in Setswana...sometimes, I can face down a cow, and I no longer blink at the terrain I am living in, or the nature of my work. People, I made my first batch of apple wine, and if you are integrated enough in a place to start making your own back room booze, you are pretty darn integrated!

It has been a crazy year, but I am satisfied where I am at, and I’m excited for what is to come.

Hugs and smooches,

Claire