ARC + PCV

I leave tomorrow! You know it is official because I have a vest now :) I thought it would be kind of fun to read back over the post I put up before I left for Bots; I was so incredibly nervous, and didn't have a chance in hell of understanding what I was about to do. This obviously feels different because it is different. It's three weeks instead of 27 months, and it is relief work instead of development, but I'm still nervous. When I visited Botswana this year I brought back two cans of chakalaka which is one of my tswana favorites. I ate the first one almost immediately and decided to save the second one for a special occasion...guess who ate chakalaka tonight? I'm a total sucker for poetic justice and symbolism so I can't begin to describe how comforting it was to be eating a meal that I had so many nights in my house in Ramokgonami. It all just felt really right, at a time when things haven't really felt right in a while.

Exhibit A

The apartment is a bit of a mess at the moment, but I have been able to find pretty much everything I will need, and probably a bunch of shit I won't. The biggest win of the evening is that while running around looking for sun glasses, I found the solar charger I had given up on two days ago. In case you were wondering what it looks like to pack for three weeks of disaster relief, behold exhibit A. I know it looks like a hot mess, but I actually am pretty proud of it. It will all fit into my pack, and I can't really think of much that I can't tackle with this gear. I also didn't need to purchase much, which was delightful.

I'm really excited to meet the other Volunteers in this group. There are 13 of us, and by the looks of things we have served all over the place. I sorta assumed that it would be mostly South or Central American Volunteers, who spoke Spanish, but we have folks that served in Burkina Faso, Kyrgyzstan and Rwanda. When I went to go pick up my Mission Card and vest, the people in the Disaster Relief unit there were incredibly confused as to how I got "roped into this." That has been a pretty common question throughout the past week actually. The truth is, I can't imagine having this opportunity and not taking it. Service has always been such an important part of my life, and it costs me very little (we can talk about emotional toll in another post, but even with that I feel like I come out in the black.)

I need an adventure, and as nervous as I am, I couldn't be more excited for this, whatever this unknown, unplanned, unexpected thing that this is.

MSP ---> JFK ---> SJU

Peace Corps + American Red Cross = Adventure

~Claire/Tlotlo

Information Trickle

Things I know: I'm going to Puerto Rico (there was a chance it was going to be the US Virgin Islands), I will not be leaving today, I'm in a group of 13 RPCVs, our group has been assigned to Mass Care/Distribution of Emergency Supplies, and that I'm the only person flying out of Minnesota.

Things I don't know: exactly when I will be leaving (they are shooting for the 27th, but having issues finding seats), exactly what I will be doing, and exactly where I will be doing it.

I appreciate everyone reaching out and checking in, but I think it is easier if I just answer these questions on this blog, and use this space for updates as I am able to get them. Check in here, and check in on Facebook if you want to know what is going on for now. I don't know what the communication situation is going to be once I'm in Puerto Rico but will update as able. 

In The Dark

So we are, presumably, within 24hours from take off...and I still don't have flight information.

More than anything this is driving me up a wall. I know there are a lot of people working very hard to make sure our team's logistics are ready, and that we will get our flight information when we get it, but to just have this important piece of information floating in the nebulous is hard to deal with. I'm also somewhat concerned that I'm going to get an email tomorrow saying I need to be on a flight within X many hours. This isn't the end of the world, as I'm pretty much packed and ready to go, but it just helps to plan.

People keep asking me when I'm leaving and to not be able to tell them which is also difficult. I'm also ready to leave, ready to be done with the prep anxiety, and ready to focus in on something else for a while.

On a happier note, I went out for a wonderful impromptu going away party last night with some absolutely wonderful people in my life. I don't know how I lucked out with these humans, I truly don't, but I'm thankful every damn day for them. The laughter, and the conversation, and the ribbing, and the safety and comfort that this community has provided me in my time of need is astounding. I was feeling anxious about the idea that all these wonderful folks had come out to say goodbye last night, and that I wasn't sure when I was leaving, which is making me worried that I might not be leaving (this was helped by talking to folks in my team, and realizing none of us had tickets yet.) When I voiced this to the group, everyone was supportive and fabulous and just said it would be fine, and that any excuse to get together and play bingo, pool and sing some karaoke was a good excuse.

I've had a few people pose the idea that I might not come back, or I would just stay down there, or get a job with ARC; but I think the love will bring me back.

Will keep yall updated once I know more.

Claire/Tlotlo

Preparations

I don't know how people do rapid deployments.

On the one hand I feel like I don't have enough time to get everything done that I need to get done, on the other hand that feeling is stifling from me doing anything, which isn't any good either. I still don't have a plane ticket as far as I'm aware, but am getting daily situation reports from the ground. I know that everything is going to work itself out, I just want to make sure that I'm as prepared as I can be. Passport, toothbrush, underwear, passport, toothbrush, underwear, passport, toothbrush, underwear.

Despite all of this stress and whatnot, it has been a pretty great Thanksgiving. I spent it with a good friend and her co-workers, and then began the process of doing inventory on what I have vs. what I need using the packing list that we were given. Ultimately there isn't a ton needed, and I'm going to use the stipend to replace some gear that is probably at the end of its usefulness anyways. I was even able to make a run out to the few stores that were open this evening to grab a few things. I had mixed feelings about this, as I don't thinks stores should ever make folks work when they could be spending the holiday with friends or family. I know my presence in these stores helps propagate the profit made from these shifts, but the idea of going out tomorrow when I didn't have to, was too tempting. I will say, I appreciate that I couldn't get anything from REI, or Mall of America as these companies have decided to give their employees the day off.

Next steps will include laying out everything I want to pack, and washing anything that needs it. Collecting necessary documents and copies, and informing folks I work with of plans as I form them. There are also some personal matters to attend to and some letters to write. If all goes to plan, I will be fully packed by Saturday afternoon, and do a double check on Sunday before I leave. Tomorrow I hope to hear back from ARC about departure times, I will keep everyone updated as the information comes in.

I'm excited, and anxious, and stressed, and am so incredibly grateful for all the wonderful support I have been receiving from everyone around me; I would not be able to do this without you.

Claire/Tlotlo

On A Jet Plane

Remember that time I said "the next group being sent down is leaving in mid-December and I can't leave until mid-January...I'm hoping enough people want to hang around for the holidays that they will bump it back"? You remember that moment, right? If you don't, you can read it in the post below. Like any good RPCV, I should have known that the moment I said that, I was destined to be put in my place.

I will be leaving for Puerto Rico on Sunday...this Sunday.

I received an email from the American Red Cross yesterday around 4pm, giving me the following two deployment options:

Time frame one: November 26th - December 17th
Time frame two: December 10th - December 31st

My sister is coming home for Christmas, and so I refuse to miss Christmas, which left me with one option (assuming I didn't want to deploy as a one off.) I have spent the last 24hrs coordinating with both my bosses, and the community chorus I sing with (One Voice Mixed Chorus.) After a bit of back and forth, I received green lights from both, and responded that I was down to leave this weekend.

So I'm off to my next adventure, three weeks of relief work in Puerto Rico with the American Red Cross. There are worse ways to run away. ;)

Best,
Claire/Tlotlo

PR Medical Clearance

So just got the call that I medically cleared for Puerto Rico!

The nurse on the phone called me (on a Saturday no less) and said that my paperwork looked good, and was kind enough to talk me through some next steps. At some point I will get an official email from the American Red Cross which will have my deployment date, information on finances and flight info. It will also include how to pick up my ARC Mission Card which is how they will give me money for preparatory purchases and incidentals.

It sounds like everything is pretty awesome, other than the fact that the next group being sent down is leaving in mid-December and I can't leave until mid-January. She said that wasn't set in stone by any stretch of the imagination, so I'm hoping enough people want to hang around for the holidays that they will bump it back. Worst comes to worst, if they send another group down, I could go with them; at that point I run the risk of getting a big girl job and needed to cancel my application, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

I still feel really good about this, and am excited about the prospect to serve. Send happy thoughts into the universe that the timing all works out. It is always all about the timing.

Claire/Tlotlo

Puerto Rico, My Heart's Devotion

I knew it was only a matter of time.

About a month and a half ago, I actually (this doesn't happen often) clicked into the RPCV newsletter, and found a call for RPCVs to take 4 week deployments to help with relief efforts in Puerto Rico. I applied, and three days ago received a response, requesting medical background, and available dates so that my travel could be booked ASAP.

I'm not sure what is going to happen with this, or if I will even be cleared, but the concept of getting back into the field and doing challenging work, while sorta being a PCV again sounds amazing. They asked the usual types of questions: whether or not I can climb two flights of stairs, and live without electricity and running water, if I would be emotionally able to handle the work. With each checked "Yes" box, I felt a little part of myself wake up, and ready itself for the challenge. There was an excitement that I haven't felt in a long time. I don't know why, but I really want to do this. I know it will be hard, I know I will be frustrated, but I just need something tangible, and real, and something that allows me to just focus on work and clear my head of all the other BS.

Life has been a bit challenging as of late, and I feel like this would be a fantastic opportunity for...a reset? ...A pause? ...A distraction? I would feel bad for making this about my wants and needs, if my first term of service hadn't already taught me that if you don't have personal reasons for these types of things, that the altruism part of it won't get you through the hard parts. I serve because I feel a drive to do so, and because I believe I can be conscious enough to know when the work is ethical or not. I serve because I believe I can impact communities, in small and intimate ways, and that I have something to contribute. I serve because it makes me feel good, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Will keep you all posted about how this turns out, hoping to hear in the next few days, and then leave sometime in January. Fingers crossed this will be how I get to kick off a brand new 2018.

~Claire/Tlotlo 

Performance Piece

Hello All!

Long time since I have posted, but I needed a space to put something out into the world, and I figured this was as good a time as any to restart this old blog. I spent last weekend at the One Voice Mixed Chorus Retreat, and was a part of the "No Singing Talent Show." The piece below was written for said show, and performed by yours truly. Haven't done this type of writing in forever, but I'm kinda proud of this one, and a few folks asked for copies. 

Should I really be able to screw my courage to the sticking place I may even post a video of me performing this a bit later. We will see ;)

Hands

Are you a boobs or an ass gal?

Though I provide a response

I tuck my secrete desire back into the folds of my mind and smile wicked at the thought of 

The true parts of my affection

The pieces of a human that grab my attention

The bits that never escape my detention

I’m a hands gal

I’ve fallen in love with so many hands I could fill a rock concert

A parade of royals

And a classroom full of eager students who have the answer on the

Tip of their tongues

That I could be a glove upon that hand

The dough beneath that hand

The hand within that hand

I’ve salivated rivers over hard working hands

Bloodied my knees worshiping at the alter of callouses

Hands with burns and cuts and scars

Played out in a historical inventory across the galaxy of a palm

A constantly carried autobiography written with blisters and missing fingernails

I can’t help but do a double take and a once over

As I watch soft, supple hands create music, prose, policy, and policy that is prose

Building seamless bridges between the mind and the world

The fierce poetic beauty of a hand is juxtaposed by the havoc it can wreck

I’ve watched hands bludgeon and beguile

Beat and bless

Berate and birth

I’ve become breathless as activists hands joined together

Face to face with brutality

Rising in fists and

Climaxing in liberty

Our stories are cradled in the palms of our hands

I fell in love with her whittling hands first

Building worlds from imagination just think of the places they will take me

I’ve watched those hands knead, and stretch and pull

And whether it’s working in the earth or working on me

I trust those hands

Hers are strong hands

And home hands

And a home for my hands, hands

Are you a boobs or an ass gal?

It’s all in the hands.

Tactical Compassion

I gave a safety pin to a Trump supporter yesterday...

She asked if she could have one from the box in my cubicle and I explained what it meant. I told her that the pin itself meant little, because a pin can't start a conversation, lead someone to safety, or insert itself in dangerous situation, but she could. She asked if I thought people would think she was a hypocrite for wearing it (she had made it clear through social media, who she voted for), and I told her they might, and that she could be getting some very legitimate anger her way. "But if you truly believe that you are willing and able to provide a safe place for people of color, immigrants, Muslims and queer folks like me, I think it may be even more important that people like you wear this." She agreed she would do it, and we talked about getting lunch at some point in the future. I don't know if I could have the full conversation with her about the impact of her vote, without getting angry, right now, but I want to. I want to listen to why this kind human being in my life, would put her most basic political power behind a person so vile. I want to understand, and more importantly, I want her to understand, we NEED to understand. So I gave a Trump supporter a safety pin yesterday, and I think my heart hurt a little less in the process. 

Last First Day!

Here it is folks, my last first day of school! I of course am saying this with the sincere hope that I don't get it stuck in my mind to go for a PhD at any point, though goodness knows that might happen a bit farther down the line. Anyhoo, here is what you have missed while I have been away.

I'm currently working for the Hennepin County Human Services and Public Health Department, within their Integrated Planning and Analysis Unit. I really couldn't be happier this with job, as it allows me to take on project from across county departments. For example, at the moment I'm working as part of a task force to end chronic homelessness in Hennepin County before the end of 2017 (learn more at https://www.usich.gov/goals/chronic) while also helping out some folks that are running a program to help children that have been take from their homes by CPS, to have an easier transition in school. I will get to stay in this position until the end of the year, and I really couldn't be more thankful for the opportunity. 

Part way through the summer I was invited to TA for one of my favorite classes last year, AKA Qualitative Analysis Methods. I know this might not sound exciting for most of you, but I'm really into it. I get to teach lab, and help student work their way through a semester long research project. This was the same class I did research on individuals who use the term "queer" in their sexual orientation labels last year, and it was pretty epic. :) First lab tomorrow, I'm going to show these peeps how to write a bang up literature review, and we are going to talk about the IRB process!!! Okay...maybe I do need a PhD?

On top of this I was elected as the Chair of the Gender, Sex and Policy Events Committee at the Humphrey, and will be finishing out my term as the elected Community Engagement Chair for the Public Affairs Student Association. Just so we are keeping on top of the math, that is 14 credits, 20hrs of county work a week, 10 hrs of TA work a week, and 2 different student groups. 

I'm also auditioning for One Voice (which, hereto after shall be referred to as "Gay Choir") because music makes me happy, and it is okay for it to take up time in my life. 

The cats are well, my partner is awesome, no one in my family has cancer any more (congrats Mom and Lil Bro bro!), and though life is busy, I'm really happy. 

More check-ins to come!

Hugs and smooches, 

Claire