Saturday, December 2, 2017

Cruz Roja

I made it down to Puerto Rico and have survived my first three days of work, while establishing a daily routine that I believe will allow me to mentally and physically get through the next few weeks! Working down here is inspiring, and heartbreaking, and wonderful, and exhausting. I have met a bunch of really cool people, and have found the relief volunteer culture to my liking. I was assigned to the Distribution of Emergency Supplies (DES) team, and have had my room mate as my team leader for the past three days which is awesome. Since, much like Peace Corps, what the job description is and what one actually does from day to day, are incredibly different, I thought it might be helpful for me to give you a break down of what my days have looked like so far.


This is what comes into the
field with me
Morning:
What is supposed to happen: Wake up, and eat dinner between 6am-7am in the second floor break room. Prepare what you need for the day, and then head down to the lobby to catch a ride with other volunteers to wherever you might need to get to. For the DES team this is the Caribbean Produce Warehouse, for many it is headquarters. Arrive at Caribbean at 8am.

What actually happens: This is pretty much my morning, not a ton can go wrong in most of these steps, and as my roommate is my team lead, I always have a ride. Sometime there is extra traffic, but for the most part this has been smooth sailing.

Early Afternoon
These are our trucks!
What is supposed to happen: Check in at Caribbean, and wait for the morning meeting/briefing. Chug down a couple of bottles of water, and hang out for an hour until you team of 3-4 people is assigned, along with a truck full of supplies, a translator, and a location for you to distribute at.

What actually happens: Arrive at Caribbean, check in, do morning meeting/briefing and then sometimes wait for up to 5 hours to have your team and location assigned. In an ideal world your team is 3-4 people, but sometimes teams of 2 go out. In an ideal world you are only in charge of one truck of supplies, but 2/3 of my days it has been two trucks. Sometimes you get a translator, and sometime you have to work with the person with the most amount of Spanish who happens to be in your group.

Mid Afternoon
On the way to our drop site yesterday
What is supposed to happen: Use your directions and follow your trucks to the location in the barrio you have been assigned. Drive safely. Get in touch with your Person of Contact before arriving at your location to confirm the drop and possibly arrange to meet them, or determine if you will need a police escort. Arrive at the location and meet your Person of Contact to determine the best way to distribute supplies.

What actually happens: Firstly, the Person of Contact never seems to pick up the phone. Getting to the locations, especially the remote ones in the mountains means getting lost, and on my first day what was supposed to be a 45min ride, turned into a three hour one with one such misdirection. Driving is also incredibly treacherous at this point, there are downed power lines, washed out roads, mud slides, and debris still. Today our drives had to physically move downed power lines that made it so they didn't have enough clearance. As the majority of these places don't have power, this isn't an issue at this point, but it seems like an electrocution risk waiting to happen. The drop locations are not always able to accommodate the trucks, especially since we have been going out with two lately, which means another location has to be determined. The police escort has come through for my teams two out of my three days, which has been wonderful though.

Later afternoon
What is supposed to happen: enlist a few volunteers and unload your truck in an orderly fashion in a way that people can easily pick up supplies. Supplies for those community volunteers are put aside so we know they get some, and the team lead determines how much of each item goes to each family or individual. With the help of your volunteers and your translator have everyone calmly move through the line and collect their items. Make sure you distribute everything in your truck, and begin to pack up.

Could you carry this on your own? This was a
per person supply
What actually happens: Getting volunteers hasn't been much of an issue, which ahs been awesome, but the orderly part is always a bit of a trick it would seem. Sometimes the supplies in the truck don't match the manifest. Sometimes the supplies in the truck need to be additionally parceled out, like yesterday when we had bags in rolls of 16, but had enough people that we wanted to give each person 8, which meant unrolling the bags and rerolling in 8's. Putting aside supplies for community volunteers always happens, but sometimes folks that aren't volunteering also want supplies, in which case we have to tell them to wait in line, or if they are not community members, that these are not for them. Rarely do we have enough of everything for everybody, but we always have something for the vast majority. The biggest issue I have seen so far is that the average person can not carry two packs of 25 water bottles, a box of MREs, a box of snacks, a roll of bags, two pairs of work gloves and a flashlight, and many don't bring cars or baskets. This means setting things aside in piles until people can figure things out but that causes the line to stop, or large groups of people to congregate, which means its hard to keep things organized.

Another big issue is that now that we have been going out with two trucks, we aren't always able to empty at the first site, and so we have to talk to local leaders about doing a second drop at a second location. Mind you, these trucks are carrying over 10,000lbs of supplies at times, and sometimes we are only a team of three. Repacking the trucks and then starting the whole process over again in a different location is both mentally and physically taxing, but also necessary.

Early Evening

Meal box (but they are all different)
What is supposed to happen: Pack up your trucks, stop for a late lunch/early dinner with your truck drivers on the way home, and then return to campus! Shouldn't be getting back later than 4 or 5pm.

What actually happens: we had a group return at 9pm last night, and many of the times, since you
have to be on a highway before dark, you aren't eating for most of the day. The dorms serve a dinner at 5:30pm, but if you are still making your way back at 6:30pm, there won't be any left. Cliff and Luna bars are my new favorite friend. This especially happens with two drop days, or days when folks get lost, or when the roads are particularly precarious.

Still couldn't imagine being
anywhere else :)
Ultimately the work is exhausting but also incredibly rewarding. Folks have been so kind and grateful and helpful. The ARC volunteers here are all wanting to help no matter how many hours, or miles in a car, or driving along cliffs is takes. It is inspiring to be around such an impassioned, and dedicated group of humans. I have my own routines that help, include journaling in the morning and evening, reading a book in the car when I'm in the field (Artemis) and another at night before bed (Stone Butch Blues), and keeping on top of my lower back PT. I try and get protein whenever available, even if it
is meat, and I have been chugging more water and electrolytes than I know what to do with. Sunscreen and staying out of direct sun generally are a must, showering, even if all I want to do is also a must (for myself and everyone around me.) I'm getting into an incredibly satisfying and healthy rhythm, and I believe it will keep me in tip top shape for the next three weeks. Not to mention I assume I will be coming back looking like tan GI Jane with all the lifting I'm doing in the trucks, and all the crunches I'm doing so my back can do the lifting. :)

I honestly would not choose to be anywhere else at this moment, and that is an amazing feeling.

Will try and write more later, the dorms just switched over to 24/7 electricity so I should have a bit more access!

Hugs and smooches,
Claire/Tlotlo

 

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

ARC + PCV


I leave tomorrow! You know it is official because I have a vest now :) I thought it would be kind of fun to read back over the post I put up before I left for Bots; I was so incredibly nervous, and didn't have a chance in hell of understanding what I was about to do. This obviously feels different because it is different. It's three weeks instead of 27 months, and it is relief work instead of development, but I'm still nervous. When I visited Botswana this year I brought back two cans of chakalaka which is one of my tswana favorites. I ate the first one almost immediately and decided to save the second one for a special occasion...guess who ate chakalaka tonight? I'm a total sucker for poetic justice and symbolism so I can't begin to describe how comforting it was to be eating a meal that I had so many nights in my house in Ramokgonami. It all just felt really right, at a time when things haven't really felt right in a while.

Exhibit A
The apartment is a bit of a mess at the moment, but I have been able to find pretty much everything I will need, and probably a bunch of shit I won't. The biggest win of the evening is that while running around looking for sun glasses, I found the solar charger I had given up on two days ago. In case you were wondering what it looks like to pack for three weeks of disaster relief, behold exhibit A. I know it looks like a hot mess, but I actually am pretty proud of it. It will all fit into my pack, and I can't really think of much that I can't tackle with this gear. I also didn't need to purchase much, which was delightful.

I'm really excited to meet the other Volunteers in this group. There are 13 of us, and by the looks of things we have served all over the place. I sorta assumed that it would be mostly South or Central American Volunteers, who spoke Spanish, but we have folks that served in Burkina Faso, Kyrgyzstan and Rwanda. When I went to go pick up my Mission Card and vest, the people in the Disaster Relief unit there were incredibly confused as to how I got "roped into this." That has been a pretty common question throughout the past week actually. The truth is, I can't imagine having this opportunity and not taking it. Service has always been such an important part of my life, and it costs me very little (we can talk about emotional toll in another post, but even with that I feel like I come out in the black.)

I need an adventure, and as nervous as I am, I couldn't be more excited for this, whatever this unknown, unplanned, unexpected thing that this is.

MSP ---> JFK ---> SJU

Peace Corps + American Red Cross = Adventure

~Claire/Tlotlo



Sunday, November 26, 2017

Information Trickle

Things I know: I'm going to Puerto Rico (there was a chance it was going to be the US Virgin Islands), I will not be leaving today, I'm in a group of 13 RPCVs, our group has been assigned to Mass Care/Distribution of Emergency Supplies, and that I'm the only person flying out of Minnesota.

Things I don't know: exactly when I will be leaving (they are shooting for the 27th, but having issues finding seats), exactly what I will be doing, and exactly where I will be doing it.

I appreciate everyone reaching out and checking in, but I think it is easier if I just answer these questions on this blog, and use this space for updates as I am able to get them. Check in here, and check in on Facebook if you want to know what is going on for now. I don't know what the communication situation is going to be once I'm in Puerto Rico but will update as able. 

Saturday, November 25, 2017

In The Dark

So we are, presumably, within 24hours from take off...and I still don't have flight information.

More than anything this is driving me up a wall. I know there are a lot of people working very hard to make sure our team's logistics are ready, and that we will get our flight information when we get it, but to just have this important piece of information floating in the nebulous is hard to deal with. I'm also somewhat concerned that I'm going to get an email tomorrow saying I need to be on a flight within X many hours. This isn't the end of the world, as I'm pretty much packed and ready to go, but it just helps to plan.

People keep asking me when I'm leaving and to not be able to tell them which is also difficult. I'm also ready to leave, ready to be done with the prep anxiety, and ready to focus in on something else for a while.

On a happier note, I went out for a wonderful impromptu going away party last night with some absolutely wonderful people in my life. I don't know how I lucked out with these humans, I truly don't, but I'm thankful every damn day for them. The laughter, and the conversation, and the ribbing, and the safety and comfort that this community has provided me in my time of need is astounding. I was feeling anxious about the idea that all these wonderful folks had come out to say goodbye last night, and that I wasn't sure when I was leaving, which is making me worried that I might not be leaving (this was helped by talking to folks in my team, and realizing none of us had tickets yet.) When I voiced this to the group, everyone was supportive and fabulous and just said it would be fine, and that any excuse to get together and play bingo, pool and sing some karaoke was a good excuse.

I've had a few people pose the idea that I might not come back, or I would just stay down there, or get a job with ARC; but I think the love will bring me back.

Will keep yall updated once I know more.

Claire/Tlotlo

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Preparations

I don't know how people do rapid deployments.

On the one hand I feel like I don't have enough time to get everything done that I need to get done, on the other hand that feeling is stifling from me doing anything, which isn't any good either. I still don't have a plane ticket as far as I'm aware, but am getting daily situation reports from the ground. I know that everything is going to work itself out, I just want to make sure that I'm as prepared as I can be. Passport, toothbrush, underwear, passport, toothbrush, underwear, passport, toothbrush, underwear.

Despite all of this stress and whatnot, it has been a pretty great Thanksgiving. I spent it with a good friend and her co-workers, and then began the process of doing inventory on what I have vs. what I need using the packing list that we were given. Ultimately there isn't a ton needed, and I'm going to use the stipend to replace some gear that is probably at the end of its usefulness anyways. I was even able to make a run out to the few stores that were open this evening to grab a few things. I had mixed feelings about this, as I don't thinks stores should ever make folks work when they could be spending the holiday with friends or family. I know my presence in these stores helps propagate the profit made from these shifts, but the idea of going out tomorrow when I didn't have to, was too tempting. I will say, I appreciate that I couldn't get anything from REI, or Mall of America as these companies have decided to give their employees the day off.

Next steps will include laying out everything I want to pack, and washing anything that needs it. Collecting necessary documents and copies, and informing folks I work with of plans as I form them. There are also some personal matters to attend to and some letters to write. If all goes to plan, I will be fully packed by Saturday afternoon, and do a double check on Sunday before I leave. Tomorrow I hope to hear back from ARC about departure times, I will keep everyone updated as the information comes in.

I'm excited, and anxious, and stressed, and am so incredibly grateful for all the wonderful support I have been receiving from everyone around me; I would not be able to do this without you.

Claire/Tlotlo

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

On A Jet Plane

Remember that time I said "the next group being sent down is leaving in mid-December and I can't leave until mid-January...I'm hoping enough people want to hang around for the holidays that they will bump it back"? You remember that moment, right? If you don't, you can read it in the post below. Like any good RPCV, I should have known that the moment I said that, I was destined to be put in my place.

I will be leaving for Puerto Rico on Sunday...this Sunday.

I received an email from the American Red Cross yesterday around 4pm, giving me the following two deployment options:

Time frame one: November 26th - December 17th
Time frame two: December 10th - December 31st

My sister is coming home for Christmas, and so I refuse to miss Christmas, which left me with one option (assuming I didn't want to deploy as a one off.) I have spent the last 24hrs coordinating with both my bosses, and the community chorus I sing with (One Voice Mixed Chorus.) After a bit of back and forth, I received green lights from both, and responded that I was down to leave this weekend.

So I'm off to my next adventure, three weeks of relief work in Puerto Rico with the American Red Cross. There are worse ways to run away. ;)

Best,
Claire/Tlotlo

Saturday, November 18, 2017

PR Medical Clearance

So just got the call that I medically cleared for Puerto Rico!

The nurse on the phone called me (on a Saturday no less) and said that my paperwork looked good, and was kind enough to talk me through some next steps. At some point I will get an official email from the American Red Cross which will have my deployment date, information on finances and flight info. It will also include how to pick up my ARC Mission Card which is how they will give me money for preparatory purchases and incidentals.

It sounds like everything is pretty awesome, other than the fact that the next group being sent down is leaving in mid-December and I can't leave until mid-January. She said that wasn't set in stone by any stretch of the imagination, so I'm hoping enough people want to hang around for the holidays that they will bump it back. Worst comes to worst, if they send another group down, I could go with them; at that point I run the risk of getting a big girl job and needed to cancel my application, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

I still feel really good about this, and am excited about the prospect to serve. Send happy thoughts into the universe that the timing all works out. It is always all about the timing.

Claire/Tlotlo

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Puerto Rico, My Heart's Devotion

I knew it was only a matter of time.

About a month and a half ago, I actually (this doesn't happen often) clicked into the RPCV newsletter, and found a call for RPCVs to take 4 week deployments to help with relief efforts in Puerto Rico. I applied, and three days ago received a response, requesting medical background, and available dates so that my travel could be booked ASAP.

I'm not sure what is going to happen with this, or if I will even be cleared, but the concept of getting back into the field and doing challenging work, while sorta being a PCV again sounds amazing. They asked the usual types of questions: whether or not I can climb two flights of stairs, and live without electricity and running water, if I would be emotionally able to handle the work. With each checked "Yes" box, I felt a little part of myself wake up, and ready itself for the challenge. There was an excitement that I haven't felt in a long time. I don't know why, but I really want to do this. I know it will be hard, I know I will be frustrated, but I just need something tangible, and real, and something that allows me to just focus on work and clear my head of all the other BS.

Life has been a bit challenging as of late, and I feel like this would be a fantastic opportunity for...a reset? ...A pause? ...A distraction? I would feel bad for making this about my wants and needs, if my first term of service hadn't already taught me that if you don't have personal reasons for these types of things, that the altruism part of it won't get you through the hard parts. I serve because I feel a drive to do so, and because I believe I can be conscious enough to know when the work is ethical or not. I serve because I believe I can impact communities, in small and intimate ways, and that I have something to contribute. I serve because it makes me feel good, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Will keep you all posted about how this turns out, hoping to hear in the next few days, and then leave sometime in January. Fingers crossed this will be how I get to kick off a brand new 2018.

~Claire/Tlotlo 

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Performance Piece

Hello All!

Long time since I have posted, but I needed a space to put something out into the world, and I figured this was as good a time as any to restart this old blog. I spent last weekend at the One Voice Mixed Chorus Retreat, and was a part of the "No Singing Talent Show." The piece below was written for said show, and performed by yours truly. Haven't done this type of writing in forever, but I'm kinda proud of this one, and a few folks asked for copies. 

Should I really be able to screw my courage to the sticking place I may even post a video of me performing this a bit later. We will see ;)

Hands

Are you a boobs or an ass gal?

Though I provide a response
I tuck my secrete desire back into the folds of my mind and smile wicked at the thought of 
The true parts of my affection
The pieces of a human that grab my attention
The bits that never escape my detention

I’m a hands gal

I’ve fallen in love with so many hands I could fill a rock concert
A parade of royals
And a classroom full of eager students who have the answer on the
Tip of their tongues
That I could be a glove upon that hand
The dough beneath that hand
The hand within that hand

I’ve salivated rivers over hard working hands
Bloodied my knees worshiping at the alter of callouses
Hands with burns and cuts and scars
Played out in a historical inventory across the galaxy of a palm
A constantly carried autobiography written with blisters and missing fingernails

I can’t help but do a double take and a once over
As I watch soft, supple hands create music, prose, policy, and policy that is prose
Building seamless bridges between the mind and the world

The fierce poetic beauty of a hand is juxtaposed by the havoc it can wreck
I’ve watched hands bludgeon and beguile
Beat and bless
Berate and birth
I’ve become breathless as activists hands joined together
Face to face with brutality
Rising in fists and
Climaxing in liberty

Our stories are cradled in the palms of our hands

I fell in love with her whittling hands first
Building worlds from imagination just think of the places they will take me
I’ve watched those hands knead, and stretch and pull
And whether it’s working in the earth or working on me
I trust those hands
Hers are strong hands
And home hands
And a home for my hands, hands

Are you a boobs or an ass gal?

It’s all in the hands.

Monday, November 21, 2016

Tactical Compassion

I gave a safety pin to a Trump supporter yesterday...

She asked if she could have one from the box in my cubicle and I explained what it meant. I told her that the pin itself meant little, because a pin can't start a conversation, lead someone to safety, or insert itself in dangerous situation, but she could. She asked if I thought people would think she was a hypocrite for wearing it (she had made it clear through social media, who she voted for), and I told her they might, and that she could be getting some very legitimate anger her way. "But if you truly believe that you are willing and able to provide a safe place for people of color, immigrants, Muslims and queer folks like me, I think it may be even more important that people like you wear this." She agreed she would do it, and we talked about getting lunch at some point in the future. I don't know if I could have the full conversation with her about the impact of her vote, without getting angry, right now, but I want to. I want to listen to why this kind human being in my life, would put her most basic political power behind a person so vile. I want to understand, and more importantly, I want her to understand, we NEED to understand. So I gave a Trump supporter a safety pin yesterday, and I think my heart hurt a little less in the process.