In The Dark

So we are, presumably, within 24hours from take off...and I still don't have flight information.

More than anything this is driving me up a wall. I know there are a lot of people working very hard to make sure our team's logistics are ready, and that we will get our flight information when we get it, but to just have this important piece of information floating in the nebulous is hard to deal with. I'm also somewhat concerned that I'm going to get an email tomorrow saying I need to be on a flight within X many hours. This isn't the end of the world, as I'm pretty much packed and ready to go, but it just helps to plan.

People keep asking me when I'm leaving and to not be able to tell them which is also difficult. I'm also ready to leave, ready to be done with the prep anxiety, and ready to focus in on something else for a while.

On a happier note, I went out for a wonderful impromptu going away party last night with some absolutely wonderful people in my life. I don't know how I lucked out with these humans, I truly don't, but I'm thankful every damn day for them. The laughter, and the conversation, and the ribbing, and the safety and comfort that this community has provided me in my time of need is astounding. I was feeling anxious about the idea that all these wonderful folks had come out to say goodbye last night, and that I wasn't sure when I was leaving, which is making me worried that I might not be leaving (this was helped by talking to folks in my team, and realizing none of us had tickets yet.) When I voiced this to the group, everyone was supportive and fabulous and just said it would be fine, and that any excuse to get together and play bingo, pool and sing some karaoke was a good excuse.

I've had a few people pose the idea that I might not come back, or I would just stay down there, or get a job with ARC; but I think the love will bring me back.

Will keep yall updated once I know more.

Claire/Tlotlo

Preparations

I don't know how people do rapid deployments.

On the one hand I feel like I don't have enough time to get everything done that I need to get done, on the other hand that feeling is stifling from me doing anything, which isn't any good either. I still don't have a plane ticket as far as I'm aware, but am getting daily situation reports from the ground. I know that everything is going to work itself out, I just want to make sure that I'm as prepared as I can be. Passport, toothbrush, underwear, passport, toothbrush, underwear, passport, toothbrush, underwear.

Despite all of this stress and whatnot, it has been a pretty great Thanksgiving. I spent it with a good friend and her co-workers, and then began the process of doing inventory on what I have vs. what I need using the packing list that we were given. Ultimately there isn't a ton needed, and I'm going to use the stipend to replace some gear that is probably at the end of its usefulness anyways. I was even able to make a run out to the few stores that were open this evening to grab a few things. I had mixed feelings about this, as I don't thinks stores should ever make folks work when they could be spending the holiday with friends or family. I know my presence in these stores helps propagate the profit made from these shifts, but the idea of going out tomorrow when I didn't have to, was too tempting. I will say, I appreciate that I couldn't get anything from REI, or Mall of America as these companies have decided to give their employees the day off.

Next steps will include laying out everything I want to pack, and washing anything that needs it. Collecting necessary documents and copies, and informing folks I work with of plans as I form them. There are also some personal matters to attend to and some letters to write. If all goes to plan, I will be fully packed by Saturday afternoon, and do a double check on Sunday before I leave. Tomorrow I hope to hear back from ARC about departure times, I will keep everyone updated as the information comes in.

I'm excited, and anxious, and stressed, and am so incredibly grateful for all the wonderful support I have been receiving from everyone around me; I would not be able to do this without you.

Claire/Tlotlo

On A Jet Plane

Remember that time I said "the next group being sent down is leaving in mid-December and I can't leave until mid-January...I'm hoping enough people want to hang around for the holidays that they will bump it back"? You remember that moment, right? If you don't, you can read it in the post below. Like any good RPCV, I should have known that the moment I said that, I was destined to be put in my place.

I will be leaving for Puerto Rico on Sunday...this Sunday.

I received an email from the American Red Cross yesterday around 4pm, giving me the following two deployment options:

Time frame one: November 26th - December 17th
Time frame two: December 10th - December 31st

My sister is coming home for Christmas, and so I refuse to miss Christmas, which left me with one option (assuming I didn't want to deploy as a one off.) I have spent the last 24hrs coordinating with both my bosses, and the community chorus I sing with (One Voice Mixed Chorus.) After a bit of back and forth, I received green lights from both, and responded that I was down to leave this weekend.

So I'm off to my next adventure, three weeks of relief work in Puerto Rico with the American Red Cross. There are worse ways to run away. ;)

Best,
Claire/Tlotlo

PR Medical Clearance

So just got the call that I medically cleared for Puerto Rico!

The nurse on the phone called me (on a Saturday no less) and said that my paperwork looked good, and was kind enough to talk me through some next steps. At some point I will get an official email from the American Red Cross which will have my deployment date, information on finances and flight info. It will also include how to pick up my ARC Mission Card which is how they will give me money for preparatory purchases and incidentals.

It sounds like everything is pretty awesome, other than the fact that the next group being sent down is leaving in mid-December and I can't leave until mid-January. She said that wasn't set in stone by any stretch of the imagination, so I'm hoping enough people want to hang around for the holidays that they will bump it back. Worst comes to worst, if they send another group down, I could go with them; at that point I run the risk of getting a big girl job and needed to cancel my application, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

I still feel really good about this, and am excited about the prospect to serve. Send happy thoughts into the universe that the timing all works out. It is always all about the timing.

Claire/Tlotlo

Puerto Rico, My Heart's Devotion

I knew it was only a matter of time.

About a month and a half ago, I actually (this doesn't happen often) clicked into the RPCV newsletter, and found a call for RPCVs to take 4 week deployments to help with relief efforts in Puerto Rico. I applied, and three days ago received a response, requesting medical background, and available dates so that my travel could be booked ASAP.

I'm not sure what is going to happen with this, or if I will even be cleared, but the concept of getting back into the field and doing challenging work, while sorta being a PCV again sounds amazing. They asked the usual types of questions: whether or not I can climb two flights of stairs, and live without electricity and running water, if I would be emotionally able to handle the work. With each checked "Yes" box, I felt a little part of myself wake up, and ready itself for the challenge. There was an excitement that I haven't felt in a long time. I don't know why, but I really want to do this. I know it will be hard, I know I will be frustrated, but I just need something tangible, and real, and something that allows me to just focus on work and clear my head of all the other BS.

Life has been a bit challenging as of late, and I feel like this would be a fantastic opportunity for...a reset? ...A pause? ...A distraction? I would feel bad for making this about my wants and needs, if my first term of service hadn't already taught me that if you don't have personal reasons for these types of things, that the altruism part of it won't get you through the hard parts. I serve because I feel a drive to do so, and because I believe I can be conscious enough to know when the work is ethical or not. I serve because I believe I can impact communities, in small and intimate ways, and that I have something to contribute. I serve because it makes me feel good, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Will keep you all posted about how this turns out, hoping to hear in the next few days, and then leave sometime in January. Fingers crossed this will be how I get to kick off a brand new 2018.

~Claire/Tlotlo 

Performance Piece

Hello All!

Long time since I have posted, but I needed a space to put something out into the world, and I figured this was as good a time as any to restart this old blog. I spent last weekend at the One Voice Mixed Chorus Retreat, and was a part of the "No Singing Talent Show." The piece below was written for said show, and performed by yours truly. Haven't done this type of writing in forever, but I'm kinda proud of this one, and a few folks asked for copies. 

Should I really be able to screw my courage to the sticking place I may even post a video of me performing this a bit later. We will see ;)

Hands

Are you a boobs or an ass gal?

Though I provide a response

I tuck my secrete desire back into the folds of my mind and smile wicked at the thought of 

The true parts of my affection

The pieces of a human that grab my attention

The bits that never escape my detention

I’m a hands gal

I’ve fallen in love with so many hands I could fill a rock concert

A parade of royals

And a classroom full of eager students who have the answer on the

Tip of their tongues

That I could be a glove upon that hand

The dough beneath that hand

The hand within that hand

I’ve salivated rivers over hard working hands

Bloodied my knees worshiping at the alter of callouses

Hands with burns and cuts and scars

Played out in a historical inventory across the galaxy of a palm

A constantly carried autobiography written with blisters and missing fingernails

I can’t help but do a double take and a once over

As I watch soft, supple hands create music, prose, policy, and policy that is prose

Building seamless bridges between the mind and the world

The fierce poetic beauty of a hand is juxtaposed by the havoc it can wreck

I’ve watched hands bludgeon and beguile

Beat and bless

Berate and birth

I’ve become breathless as activists hands joined together

Face to face with brutality

Rising in fists and

Climaxing in liberty

Our stories are cradled in the palms of our hands

I fell in love with her whittling hands first

Building worlds from imagination just think of the places they will take me

I’ve watched those hands knead, and stretch and pull

And whether it’s working in the earth or working on me

I trust those hands

Hers are strong hands

And home hands

And a home for my hands, hands

Are you a boobs or an ass gal?

It’s all in the hands.

Tactical Compassion

I gave a safety pin to a Trump supporter yesterday...

She asked if she could have one from the box in my cubicle and I explained what it meant. I told her that the pin itself meant little, because a pin can't start a conversation, lead someone to safety, or insert itself in dangerous situation, but she could. She asked if I thought people would think she was a hypocrite for wearing it (she had made it clear through social media, who she voted for), and I told her they might, and that she could be getting some very legitimate anger her way. "But if you truly believe that you are willing and able to provide a safe place for people of color, immigrants, Muslims and queer folks like me, I think it may be even more important that people like you wear this." She agreed she would do it, and we talked about getting lunch at some point in the future. I don't know if I could have the full conversation with her about the impact of her vote, without getting angry, right now, but I want to. I want to listen to why this kind human being in my life, would put her most basic political power behind a person so vile. I want to understand, and more importantly, I want her to understand, we NEED to understand. So I gave a Trump supporter a safety pin yesterday, and I think my heart hurt a little less in the process. 

Last First Day!

Here it is folks, my last first day of school! I of course am saying this with the sincere hope that I don't get it stuck in my mind to go for a PhD at any point, though goodness knows that might happen a bit farther down the line. Anyhoo, here is what you have missed while I have been away.

I'm currently working for the Hennepin County Human Services and Public Health Department, within their Integrated Planning and Analysis Unit. I really couldn't be happier this with job, as it allows me to take on project from across county departments. For example, at the moment I'm working as part of a task force to end chronic homelessness in Hennepin County before the end of 2017 (learn more at https://www.usich.gov/goals/chronic) while also helping out some folks that are running a program to help children that have been take from their homes by CPS, to have an easier transition in school. I will get to stay in this position until the end of the year, and I really couldn't be more thankful for the opportunity. 

Part way through the summer I was invited to TA for one of my favorite classes last year, AKA Qualitative Analysis Methods. I know this might not sound exciting for most of you, but I'm really into it. I get to teach lab, and help student work their way through a semester long research project. This was the same class I did research on individuals who use the term "queer" in their sexual orientation labels last year, and it was pretty epic. :) First lab tomorrow, I'm going to show these peeps how to write a bang up literature review, and we are going to talk about the IRB process!!! Okay...maybe I do need a PhD?

On top of this I was elected as the Chair of the Gender, Sex and Policy Events Committee at the Humphrey, and will be finishing out my term as the elected Community Engagement Chair for the Public Affairs Student Association. Just so we are keeping on top of the math, that is 14 credits, 20hrs of county work a week, 10 hrs of TA work a week, and 2 different student groups. 

I'm also auditioning for One Voice (which, hereto after shall be referred to as "Gay Choir") because music makes me happy, and it is okay for it to take up time in my life. 

The cats are well, my partner is awesome, no one in my family has cancer any more (congrats Mom and Lil Bro bro!), and though life is busy, I'm really happy. 

More check-ins to come!

Hugs and smooches, 

Claire 

Working

Goodness it has been a while! I said I would try and post regularly and then, as per usual, life got a bit in the way. It isn't that life wasn't in the way during Peace Corps, just that life was slower, and more relaxed, and life here...well, isn't.

I've been feeling good lately, my want to board a plane to anywhere only comes up once every month or so. The work I am doing, both academically and professionally feels important, like I'm setting things up and accomplishing them all in one. I have a qualitative project I'm excited about, I'm presenting a policy brief I have been working on for the last five months to my bosses bosses at the County Election Office, and I have been offered an internship in New York, had a successful interview for one in Washington DC, and have moved on to the next level of review for another job in the county here (which would be paid, and run for a year!)

My partner has been invited to interview for a new job next week. Mom and Little Brother are in remission, my Little Sister received a summer fellowship with NOA, and Dad is going to be able to start rowing off his stress in just a week from now on the water.

I was elected to the Community Engagement Chair of the Public Affairs Student Association and I believe that I am going to be able to implement a "Rent-a-Grad" program similar to a program we used while I was an undergraduate rower at State. I have a few hundred dollars in my budget and I am hoping to be able to support a program called Laundry Love that opens up a laundromat for free washes for people that need them.

I had an allergic reaction to tuna, and now know what hives look/feel/itch like...

My partner and I are going to take the Foreign Service Exam this summer and I'm currently studying under a 20yr Foreign Service Vet learning about bilateral and multilateral diplomacy.

We don't have bugs!

I got to speak to family and friends back in Bots for the first time in a few months and it felt really wonderful. The want to get back to that side of the world is still pretty intense, but with new job possibilities around the corner, maybe not as far off as I thought it would be?

Sanders is on a roll :)

I will try and be better about this whole updating thing, no promises though.

Love,
Claire

Something We Can All Agree On

You may wonder why I announced a big rejuvenation of this blog and then disappeared, and this is why. (Written by my Dad)

Dear Family, Friends, Colleagues, Followers, and the rest of you wonderful people out there in the Internet universe that come across this post,

Thursday, December 17th is the occasion of my 55th birthday. This year and this birthday are especially poignant for me. Both my mother, Inga, and my Morfar, Sven Oscar Lundgren (my Swedish grandfather on my mother’s side), passed at age 55. So now is as good a time as any for me to take a look back and remember these two wonderful big personalities that had such a big impact on my life. Time has softened some tough memories, and I now fondly look back on many wonderful times I spent with both of them, especially Swedish Christmas.

But I write today (and will repost often this week, sorry about that) for another reason. In this day of contention, worry, derisive political antics, religious arguments and blustering personalities, I want to ask your help with something that I am certain will get 100% agreement from 100% of the people that read this, no matter your religion, political bent, what you look like or where you are from.

Cancer, Fucking Cancer……This insidious disease has recently touched way to many wonderful friends my family knows, and recently made a visit to my immediate family. As I am sure most of you can sadly attest, MF cancer (one F-bomb is probably enough) has touched way too many people we all know and love. Cancer hits indiscriminately, across all economic classes, religious and political beliefs, it does not spare nationalities or races. It has got to go!

Our personal family story:

After a routine mammogram this past July, my wife Lisa was diagnosed with Ductal Carcinoma In-Situ commonly referred to as DCIS (or early stage breast cancer.) Shockingly just a few months later our son Adam was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Fortunately the prognosis for both is extremely positive.

Lisa just wrapped up her treatment last week, including racing (and qualifying for next year!) in the Head of the Charles regatta in Boston, 5 weeks after her lumpectomy surgery, in a Womens Eight for the Ann Arbor Rowing Club.

My mom in the center 

Last week Adam completed his first month, of what is expected to be a four to six month course, of chemotherapy that will take place every other week. He is grinding through his Computer Science, Statistics and Swedish finals at the University of Michigan this week and expects to stay in school next semester as well. Unfortunately Adam had to stop rowing for the Michigan Mens Rowing Team this year after a very successful first year competing that ended with Michigan winning their 8th straight team national championship at the American Collegiate Rowing Association National Championships. He plans to return to the team next year. Row Blue!

Lil bro bro rocking the row (he is in the hat)

What am I up to.....

So why am I tying all of this together with my 55th birthday you may ask? Obviously our family has a rowing problem, but we don’t need help with that.

On Thursday a few of my Ann Arbor Rowing Club teammates will half jokingly post that I should erg (an indoor rowing torture machine) 55 kilometers (~34.18 miles) for my 55th birthday. While I do not plan to do this in one sitting, pesky work prevents that possibility; I am going to do it and row a total of 55k this Thursday, December 17th.

In celebration of life and my wonderful family, but especially for Lisa and Adam this year, I am asking all of you to do two things to support my just over 34 mile rowing odyssey that will not take me anywhere.

mom, lil bro bro, dad

First please consider making what I am calling a 55 donation, $5.50, $55, $550, or even $5,500 or more, to support cancer research at the University of Michigan (where both Lisa and Adam are getting fantastic treatment), or the cancer research or treatment center of your choice. See links at end of this post.

Along with happy birthday wishes (who doesn’t want those!) this Thursday I would so appreciate to see confirmations of your donations (message me if you don’t want to publicly post about donations) so I can keep track and post a total raised……….once I recover. Make a donation on the 17th and you get a tax donation for 2015.

The second thing I would ask you to consider doing, please like, share this post and the link for this post as often as you are willing through Thursday, 12/17. Maybe we can get some deep pockets to contribute if this post gets enough traction and raise some serious cash for a very worthy cause, no matter where the money goes.

Thanks so much!

Our Family

Relavent Links:

University of Michigan Comprehensive Cancer Center -https://leadersandbest.umich.edu/find/#!/med/umhs-ccc

List of best cancer research hospitals by US News and World Report -http://health.usnews.com/best-hospitals/rankings/cancer

Best cancer related charities by Charity Watch -https://www.charitywatch.org/top-rated-charities

#fuckcancer #beatcancer #fightcancer #nomorecancer #cancersucks #breastcancer #breastcancerswareness #cancercure #cancerawareness #hodgkinslymphoma #lymphoma #lymphomaawareness #fightbreastcancer #fightlymphoma #InnovateBlue #LeadersAndBest #UMich #GoBlue