Life Lessons Learned

I have been doing a lot of posts on what is physically going on in my life and I wanted to take an opportunity to put up something a bit more thoughtful. Some of the posts I am most proud of are the ones that have been focused on my experience on a more mental level. My entry"Chunky Dunkin: A Fat Girl's Guide to Peace Corps" is about 30 hits away from having had 1,000 reads, which is awesome considering how specific an audience this blog plays to, and it was a combination of physical realities of my service, meshed with my thoughts on them.

That all being said, I want to reflect a bit on some things I have learned about myself while on this Peace Corps journey of mine. Some of these things are going to resonate with some of the volunteers who are reading this, and some are not, but putting them out there will make me more cognizant of these lessons and I think that is a good thing.

Me getting pumped about something
other than cheese (beet hummus)

#1: I have no will power when it comes to certain topics...namely cheese. This may sound like a joke but as I approach the 50lbs loss mark (17lbs to go!) I realize that this is in part because I am a lazy bastard. I eat raw foods for lunch every day not to make a statement, or because it makes me feel like a healthier and wiser consumer, but because I am too lazy to make my own lunch, and in my world there are no instant food options (fast food, processed packaged food, microwave meals... microwaves.) My biggest “win” has been weaning myself from a heavy reliance on carbohydrates, something that I tried to do multiple times while at home but was never able to fully achieve. Want to know how I finally did this? I stopped buying carbs. I eat a pasta or rice based dinner EVERY NIGHT, but that is the only meal in which carbs are present. If I had snack bars in my house, you can be damn sure I would be eating them, so instead of bringing them in and teaching myself a lesson on moderation, I skip the whole deal altogether by just not having them around.

My “lazy” person diet involves me having to work out my flabby will power muscles for approximately 30mins twice a month while I am grocery shopping. This is not difficult, I don’t go shopping hungry, and I don’t go down the sweet aisle. I get to have one candy bar while I am shopping, and other than that the unhealthiest thing that comes home with me is the container of feta cheese that I buy for omelets, and salads. 

This method has very much pointed out to me how much energy I devoted to food while I was home. Eating it, thinking about eating it, thinking about not eating it, worrying about what would happen if I did or did not eat it; hours upon hours a day! Here, I don’t have to freak, if I get hungry enough I have to eat a vegetable or a fruit, or I have to actually prepare something, which my lazyness will often prevent to a certain extent. By the time I get my unmotivated self to cook something, I know I am actually hungry! The lazy diet methods work for me.

Is it a child scribbling on the wall?
NO, its my PC emotional graph!

#2: Not everyone is the same when it comes to things that tick or set them off. Peace Corps is a crazy emotional ride of crazyness, and though at some point you do learn to level out or deal with your emotions, the ups and downs continue to be there, and it makes you get real intimate with yourself real quick. I think
the majority of issues that happen between people who generally care about each other are based around communication. Here is a situation that would not bug me: a volunteer in another village is having a party. The invitations are going out through word of mouth and we get to the week before the party and I have just heard about the event. This situation doesn’t bug me, and in all likelihood I would call this person up, and ask if I could come and if there is anything I could bring. The reason for this is because I like to assume I was not intentionally excluded, this person probably has a lot going on and assumed that the word of mouth tree through the volunteer community would take care of the needed guest list. This situation would bug certain people I work with though, and I could unintentionally offend someone by not taking this into account.

Dan Savage talks a lot about “price of admission” when it comes to relationships; this concept, in a nutshell, is that you are going to have to go out of your way in certain areas in order to keep your relationships healthy, and that if your relationship with that person is worth it, it is something you will gladly pay. Up to this point in my life I have assumed that most people see the world in very similar terms to how I see it. Though this is partially true, and I do think there is more that joins us together than separates us, there are also some very major differences, and that is what makes the world a wonderful, unique place to live in. When you get to a certain point in your relationships with people, you start to become more intimately acquainted with these little quarks, and being able to negotiate those is what continues to move you forward. I need to start being more active in recognizing these bits in other people, clearly seeing my own, and coming to an equilibrium in order to more actively engage in the relationships around me.  

#3: Who I am, and who I want to be, are going to slowly come together in unexpected ways, and I need to make room for those discoveries as they appear. You know that trend on facebook about a year ago; the one where there would be a series of six pictures and they would all have captions like “How my mother sees me”, “How my siblings see me” and “How I really am”? Though these are hilarious, I think the reason behind their comedy is because they ring really true in some cases (like the Peace Corps one below.) If I had to do one for just myself I think it would sound something like this:

Who I want to be: nomadic, adventuresome type, who traipses around the world in order to meet new people and try and make their lives better. I want my facebook profile pictures to include yurts, and me learning traditional Brazilian dances, and smoking a pipe with the native peoples of New Guinea. I want to have stories that start off with lines like “I was cutting my way through a dense jungle rainforest...” I want to tell people about all the gross bugs I have eaten. What I want to be is the love child of Teddy Roosevelt and Mother Teresa.

Who I am right now: a peace corps volunteer (which means a lot of different things; see "Romanticizing Peace Corps") Someone who does not particularly enjoy living out of her backpack but can do so on the occasion, someone who loves meeting new people, but doesn’t not like to have to be “on” 24/7. I don’t like bugs, especially the big ones with scary appendages and though I love getting into the center of things, I sometimes need a little coaxing. I love and miss my American home, and the family that fills it, and going home at this point sounds almost as sweet as having another adventure lined up. 

For those of you still reading, congratulations! You get the prize of me coming home for Christmas again! J I land Dec 23^rd, and take off again Jan 3^rd!

Who I end up being: a person who can’t be pinned down to one thing or another. I want to be someone who values her sense of home and where she came from and uses it as strength to see new places. I want to be filled with stories, and I want to share them with everyone. I want to be able to unpack my backpack at the end of an adventure and have a stationary, solid place to contemplate it. I want to enjoy my favorite pub at home as much as I enjoy a new pub in the back alley of the Ukraine. Ultimately I want to be someone who never “ends” in evolving who she is and how she sees things. Having a place to stop and rest doesn’t mean you ever have to truly stop the life adventure. My home is not my weakness.

The man is riding a freaking moose
...who doesn't want to ride a moose?!?

A lot of this has come through thinking about going home again, and dealing with this weird sense that I have seemed to stumble into that involves me thinking that needing home is somehow weak. At some point I will unpack this a bit further, but I don’t want to dwell on it too much right now now.

#4:You can get an awful lot of education with just a sense of determination, a passion for knowledge and a few hours of internet access a week. Want to know about the Moringa tree? Ask me freaking anything within the realm of applicable uses and I could probably answer it. Would you like me to get into gender identity and politics and the differences between sex and gender? Awesome, I will talk your ear off! I know more about the different parts of old schooner ships than I ever thought I would because last year for National Novel Writing Month I decided to write 50,000 about lesbian pirate queens and I wanted to sound authentic.

Your education does not begin or end with school or university, I know this seems like an obvious one but to people straight out of undergrad it can be a little daunting. I have spent 17 out of 24 years of my life in some form of school or another and when I graduated I felt like I had lost what had become a constant presence in my life. What I had lost was a set of buildings and a specific set of mentors. What I gained was the ability to drive what I educate myself on, and find people around me that already know, or want to learn about the same things that I do.

#5 and this one ties everything together I like to think. You have to learn how to be happy and it’s not always going to make you happy. Things that make me happy that don’t make me happy (work with me on this one):

·        

      Working out

·         Budgeting my living allowance

·         Going to work on days when I don’t feel like leaving the house

·         Religious study

·         Cleaning

·         Practicing music (guitar, ukulele, harmonica, or voice)

·         Cooking an elaborate meal (love cooking, hate getting everything together and cleaning)

These activities are things that ultimately increase my happiness as an individual but are either a.) not fun to do or b.) are difficult to get myself to start/ do. The ease in which I can get myself to work on stuff like this is usually highly depended on my emotional state, and as made clear above that is something that fluctuates with the wind while in Peace Corps. I like to institute certain mental “hacks” when it comes to motivation on my part. 1.) Even if I haven’t started seeing the difference yet, if I am working out, I tend to be more comfortable with my body. An example of this was actually yesterday while hanging out with a few friends. We were at a house of a doctor who was out of town, who also happens to have a pool.

Normally, in order for me to get into any sort of body of water I have to have serious coverage of my thighs. I have been wearing board shorts into the water for the past decade or so, despite the fact that I don’t have the body proportions to make it look athletic, and I really want to wear girly swim suits. Anyway, I forgot my shorts, and the only way to get into the pool was going in, in my skivvies, which a few years ago wouldn’t have been an option, but now it was. My thoughts: screw it, I worked out this morning and also just happened to have shaved my legs, on top of the fact that I had on cute underwear...those two things never happen!!!!

Secondly, the biggest issue I have is often starting things, after which I tend to enjoy them, or at the very least continue until I am finished. I won’t stop a workout in the middle, so all I really need to do is get to the point where I have begun, and the rest will take care of itself. Pep talks will often do the trick when having to get the ball rolling when it comes to the physical things. Getting myself to practice singing is not at all difficult, I put on songs I like, and then just start singing, but it can be a bit more complicated when it comes to picking up my guitar. By combining these two activities, life gets easier. I practice my guitar with songs that I can sing to.  

Lazy diet works, unfortunately lazy happiness does not. I cannot be both lazy and happy, it is not how I’m programmed. Figuring out how I’m programmed is the bulk of what I have been learning here. What works for some, is not going to work for me every time.

At this point I think I am becoming a big unfocused so I’m going to leave it there. I have no doubt that there will be more posts about life lessons learned. Thanks for tuning in!

Claire

Green Sleeves..and Shirts...and Thumbs

Last time I attempted to grow something on my own it was the strawberries my mother helped me out with in our household garden. I was so proud of them (even though they were kind of little) and so sad when we got to the year we had to dig them up to let the soil rest. After that the only real plant I can think of was the one my roommate had in college. We called it the "Jesus Plant" because it would die and then we would water it and it would magically come back to life. Most of the time we used "watering" in the most liberal of terms, meaning we poured leftover cans of beer and diet pepsi into the pot, so I really have no idea how the thing made it through two years in the dorm and one in the apartment, but whatever. At this point you should have some idea of my limited gardening skills, so it will come just as much a surprise to you as it did to me, that I am looking at the next couple of months, and the only projects that seems to really be happening all involve gardening and plants (probably ones that won't be watered with pepsi.)

The moringa project is finally starting to take off with seeds in the ground at my place and the clinic! I am hoping to start the workshops soon, and then I am going to put together an easy way for people to continue running them once I am gone. In case you didn't know I have included this wonderful little diagram thingy to tell you all about how awesome this tree is! I have been trying to be very careful with making sure people don't refer to it as a "medicine" though, because I don't want people thinking this is a cure all (i.e. replacing their ARVs with it), and what the main goal would be is really to try and get people t include it in their daily diet. If I can figure it out we are going to have general workshops and then special workshops and health talks for pregnant mothers and people who are HIV+, since those groups have even more to gain. I think this will be a great substitute for those pregnant women who end up eating dirt because they have an iron deficiency.

Aside from the moringa project I have also decided to start my own garden as well as a garden at the library that could benefit not only their low income preschool but the one that functions at the creshe as well. A HUGE shout out to Downtown Home and Garden for sending me a bunch of seed packets!! I thought I was going to get enough to do my own little herb patch but it turns out they sent me so many that they are going to have a chance to be their own project. This will be wonderful because it will enable both of these preschool programs to supplement the students lunches with some vegetables, and save on money when they hold events that require food. I'm really looking forward to getting my hands dirty with these projects, and maybe this is even something I will want to bring home with me?

Everything should be starting off this week, and if not then next for sure. I'm looking forward to melon and corn and tomatoes and dill and eggplant all straight from my very own garden! My host brother is going to clear a plot of land next to the chicken coup which I can only image will actually make things grow even better since I will have a natural fertilizer being set down (though I have to figure out how to keep the actual chickens out since they are going to try and eat everything.) This is fitting into my larger plan to get in shape and stay healthy and use this time in Peace Corps to establish some god nutritional habits. Also my goal to save more money and travel and bit more :)

Can't wait for the adventure to start, and if anyone out there has some good gardening tips, let me know!

Hugs and smooches,
Claire

Gender Poem!

Part of some of my LGBT work here has been trying to connect the Bots community with an EXCELLENT project back in the states, called The Gender Book! Part of this involves signing up to be a Gender Scout, meaning I help do some street promotion for the project. Obviously, this is difficult to do any place but online while I am here. That being said, I have written a poem with a gender theme that I would like all of you to enjoy:

The African Princess

The swish of her skirt

The rouge of her lips

The dance of her hips

No realer a woman ever walked the dirt catwalk the way she struts

Proud, with head held high, and hair blowing in the breeze

Having fought for a pronoun title hard earned, one she never knew was hers by right

The African Princess apologizes to no one

Cargo short confines

A naked face

A stomping gait

Baggy pants and tshirt have never been more of a cage

Some accessories packed away while others having sprung from their rightful place

Their place packed away because they hide her true face

Into the political prison the African Princess goes, but not long will she stay

Scary Story Continued!

Alright, so this is coming a lot later than I thought it would, and it also isn't going to have pictures until a later date, but I figured I have kept you in suspense for long enough!!!

We left off with our heroes (Kalindi and I) being trapped in our tent by some unknown creature and very much being in need of the bathroom. It is at this point in the story that Kalindi hands me the wine bottle, which is the closest thing we have to a blunt bludgeoning instrument, and says "you live here, which means you have to go out first." I can't really argue with the logic of this, I do live here, and ultimately it would just seem plain rude to have a guest be eaten by some hungry beast first. So I took the wine bottle, put on my shoes, and crouched at the tent entrance. After hitting the tent wall, and making ridiculous loud barking like noises (I can only image what all of this must have looked like from an outside the tent perspective) I unzipped the tent an half jumped, half tripped out into the wilderness, ONLY TO FIND!!!

Nothing, I found absolutely nothing...

After doing a once around the tent, I let Kalindi know the coast was clear and that it was okay to come out and we both ran to the bathroom. I am guessing, based on the fact that the thing had fingers, that it was probably a monkey. But we will never know will we? Maybe it was a Tokolosi?

The rest of the trip continued on relatively as planned, and I have to say that Victoria Falls is no less beautiful the second time around. This time we opted for a slightly less adrenalin filled, half day canoe trip. There was a bit of a troublesome bull hippo at the start (our guide was awesome, and we knew it was time to high tail it out of there when he calmly started repeating "okay, there is a hippo, we need to get to the center of the river...right now. Quickly!") but the rest of the day went swimmingly and we got to see the beautiful upstream view of the Zambezi.

After Vic Falls we made our way, with a series of pretty decent hitches, over to Maun to stay with the Ferguson's a couple of days. Maun is awesome, and to be honest it was just great to hang out in a house setting with wonderful people, sharing the responsibilities of making and eating wonderful food, and just shooting the breeze. It was so wonderful in fact, that we staid an extra day!

At this point in time, it was off to Ramokgonami, for about a week of hanging out in my village. I would love to say that there were a whole lot of adventures had at this point, but Rams is pretty laid back. We hung out, we hiked around a bit, and I introduced Kalindi to all of the wonderful people that make up my daily life here in Botswana. Sharing my house with people I love is a major point of awesomeness for me. I may not be the best house cleaner in the whole world but I like to think that I am a pretty gracious host. Showing off my home to Alex and Kalindi and Dana and anyone else that makes it out my side is a pleasure and I wish I had the opportunity to do it more often. Its times like that when I wish I lived in a major hub, but maybe if it happened all the time it wouldn't be as fun?

Kalindi leaving was horrible, she is going to be the last person from home to visit until my parents come in February, and though I tried to keep it together at the airport, it was incredibly difficult. Maybe someday I will post a little more about what her trip meant to me, but for now we will keep it at that.

Youth Empowerment Camp: For realz this time!

After Kalindi left I had a few weeks to get back into the swing of things, and then it was off to youth camp! As regular readers of this blog know, I helped put on a youth empowerment conference a few months ago, but it was much smaller than intended because of funding issues. Well we got funding! This time around the camp was at the Gweta Lodge, and we had about 25 campers, and four PCVs helping out. 

We did a ton of awesome workshops on identity, community mobilization, leadership and self confidence. We had a fashion show, talent show, and a movie night for evening activities. Everyone had an awesome time and I couldn't have been happier with how things shook out. I am hoping we can pull things together to do at least one more before the end of my service, and I plan to shoot even higher that time around. 

Mural Painting Part II

So the mural at this point consisted of a clean and primed wall, and two slightly agitated volunteers, which isn't exactly the end product we were looking for. So Dana came back up and we decided to finish her up! Chad (you remember him, the Beerlmpics champion?) also decided to come down and lend a hand, and I couldn't have been more thankful for it. 

Man did we kick some serious booty :)

We painted everyday for pretty much a week, with help coming in from random community member that were walking by, along with some of the primary and preschool kids and the creshe staff. It was hot, it was dry, and at times the paints were incredibly uncooperative, but in the end we persevered, and the fruits of our labor were oh so very sweet! (insert picture of mural here...later)

What is great about this whole project is we added to the beauty of the community by putting what people are most proud of into the mural itself. We did it with other community members and even though the creshe is off of the main road, the mural is so big and beautiful that people and cars passing by can see it from the road. As self centered as it may sound it is also nice to do projects like this because it is tangible proof that I was here, that I worked and made something that makes the community better. I can look at that mural and say "that wouldn't have happened without me" and there aren't may projects that I'm involved in that have that type of tangibility. But that is part of what we sign up for I guess. 

The mural finished up just in time for us to attend the community cultural day at the library, and even though the giant meal that Dana and I got in on wasn't for our mural specifically we decided to pretend that it was. We filled or bellies, chatted it up with community members, and then found Dana a lift back into town. I went home incredibly satisfied and only slightly exhausted. It was an amazing way to wrap up three months of crazyness. That whole circle of life, if you know what I mean.

New Projects in the Works

So there are a few new things that might be happening in the next couple of months, and I feel like if I write them up here, the universe will keep more more accountable for them. 

-SOP project for the clinic: I want to write a document that goes through different "stations" at the clinic, step by step, and lets the user know how much time it should take to complete each task. I think this will help for training new staff that come in when there is turn over. 

-Moringa: I actually started this one yesterday by planting a few of these on my compound, but I really want to start spreading the word about this amazing tree to the whole community. My hope is to get my hands on more seeds and then to give workshops on harvesting and uses a few times a month at the library/ clinic until most people know what they are doing. 

-STEPS Movie Nights: STEPS is a program that creates awesome movies, many of which are in the local languages, about certain health and social issues. The point is to watch a movie and then facilitate a discussion afterwards. I got the librarian to be on board with the idea of having a once a week movie night, sometimes STEPS and sometimes other entertaining media to keep people interested. I think this will not only be a great way to get community discussions going, but also a sneaky bit on getting more people to come to the library. 

-LeGeBiBo Documents: So I haven't been super open with my involvement with LEGABIBO here, but I want to post this because I am proud to be working with them and I don't want people to think any differently. LEGABIBO (Lesbians, Gays and Bisexuals of Botswana) is the only LGBT organization in Botswana which functions under the BONELA umbrella out of Gabs. I have been getting involved in a few of their projects and as they have begun to grow, I want to be able to make sure they have the structures needed to expand. That being said I am going to create some documents for them (grant requests, support group starter kits, resource lists) so they can more easily accommodate a growing movement. It may not be as exciting as the other projects, but I love it equally. 

-English Lessons: I have begun teaching English lessons at the primary school twice a week for the Standard 3s. These guys are a bit older than my preschoolers (8&9) and present a whole different bundle of challenges that I am looking forward to meeting. :)

There are a few more minor things in the works, but that is about it for now. I will post more, as more happen.

Plans for Life PPC (Post Peace Corps)

So these are a bit all over the place at this moment, but why not try and work them out of my head online for everyone to see?

At this point I have figured out that I am not going to stay an extra year...but that doesn't mean I won't apply for a 6 month extension. The current plan runs something like this: apply for 6month extension with LEGABIBO, probably get turned down because that job would involve a whole lot of politics (I 100% support Peace Corps stance on not getting involved with politics in any given country. It is what helps keep volunteers safe, and the organization legitimate), plan awesome COS trip to Southeast Asia, go on said trip, come home and readjust while looking for a job that can hold me down for about a year. After working said job for a year, find a more fulfilling job in a city and move there. See what happens after that. 

I would love to get involved with grassroots movements and I would love even more for that job to involve people, writing and activism. I am also painfully aware that I am not the only bleeding heart out there, and that these types of jobs have a lot of people competing for them, but that doesn't stop me from wanting it any less. I am not opposed to moving to Canada, and I think that everything works itself out in the end. 

At some point a few of you may be saying: "But Claire, when you left you said you were going to come back and go to graduate school!" and you would be right, I did say that....almost two years ago. 

I have figured out that I don't want to work in development all my life, and I can't thank peace corps enough for enlightening me on that one. I think activism is going to be more my thing, but there isn't exactly a graduate program for that. As it stands, the last thing I want to do is spend time and money on a Masters I won't use, so I am going to put it off for a while. Doesn't mean I won't come back, but if I do, I will be damn more certain of what I want than I am right now. 

In the case my 6 month extension is approved, I will move to Gabs and work for 6 months before doing the aforementioned plan only slightly later. As I said, I'm not thinking this is going to happen, but I am also not ruling it out. 

So I kind of have a plan...I guess? It just has a lot of holes...and unknown parts...and bits that aren't filled in. But what is the saying? 

"Men make plans and God laughs"

Will add some pictures later, hope this finds you all well :)

Claire

Crazy Stuff Claire Does in Africa

LOTS OF STUFF TO CATCH UP ON!

I'm so sorry I have been not on here at all as of late, it has been a nutso last two months, but that shouldn't prevent me from sitting down and writing a little bit now and again. Since I have failed in doing this, I am going to sit down right now and write a ton...all in one go.

In attempts to make this easier to navigate, I'm going to break this down into a "Novel" like format with chapters and a table of contents and everything!

Table of Contents
-Alex's Trip
-MST
-Mural Painting Insanity
-Kalindi's Trip
-New Projects
-Plans for Life PPC (post Peace Corps)

Alex's Trip

My first visitor from the United States of America was a TOTAL WIN! I think things went really well and based on what he was telling me, he thought the same. 

So first there was the emotional reunion at the Jo'burg Airport where I continually kept repeating things like "I can't believe you are actually here" and "you are real" while touching his arm. It was the first real mixing of my life in Bots and my life in the US so how can you really blame me? 

Getting back to Botswana was a laugh and a half and aside from some worries about me having forgot my work permit papers, all went smoothly (the lady didn't end up asking for them...I like to think this is because I am such a smooth Setswana talker, but I'm guessing in all reality it is more likely that she just forgot.) Once in Botswana we met up for dinner with a few newly COSed, RPCVs who were on there way to bigger and better things. This was wonderful because Alex got to meet a few of my close friends who are on the other end of this crazy ride (I'm talking about you Susan and Amelia!) After a delicious Indian dinner we went back to the Metcourt and crashed before a big day of travel. I would like to point out that Alex was highly enjoying his two nights in Africa in a hotel, and eating out at fancy restaurants...little did he know. 

The next day we hopped on a bus and went out to my village. I finally got to introduce Alex to the lady in my shopping village who is convinced she is going to be his future wife, and Alex got a nice feel for what the transportation system here is like. 

Alex: "What time does the bus leave?"

Claire: "Noon...or 1, sometimes like half one, but if he is not there by 2 then he isn't going to be coming."

Alex: "Why wouldn't he be coming?"

Claire: "He might be in church, the bus might have been broken, he could have hit a cow...that happened a few weeks ago and the bus was out for a month."

Alex: "Oh"

Luckily the bus did come and so not only was Alex treated to my favorite bus guy (his name is Rra Tlotlo, which everyone jokes means he is my Dad) but a brief little driving tour of the village as well, since this particular bus will drive all the way out to my house instead of dropping off at the kgotla a mile away.

Family meeting the family :)

The few days we had in my village were a good time; Alex got to see a slice of my life which included weighing babies, hanging out with my preschoolers, and generally just talking with and mingling around the village and the people in it. It was also awesome for me to get a fresh perspective on some of the issues that go down here, and brain storm with him possible future project ideas. 

First traditional meal! Those little bug lookin
things above the brown meat...are bugs.

The ultimate part of this trip though was being able to show him places and introduce him to people that I have been talking about on this blog, through emails and in letters since I got here. When I reference "the clinic" Alex knows what I am talking about now. He has a mental picture and a much more clear idea of how I live, the stresses I go through and what my job is like. He is the first person from home who has seen this, and I couldn't be happier to have that kind of ally. 

After Rams came my belated 24th birthday party up in Francistown. After deciding I wanted to have some

sort of theme party, and then also realizing that it would be hard to materialize a costume in these settings, I settled on the theme "Beerlympics: A Night of Competitive Drinking." That way we get to combine my two absolute favorite things: beer and competition. Get this people, my most awesome cousin even chipped in to get a trophy engraved....IT WAS AWESOME! It is at this point I will note that never in my service have I been more aware of the USD to BP exchange rate:

Claire: "We can't buy _______, it's like p300!!!"

Alex: "Claire, I can cover the $35, it's not a big deal"

Chad won!

At which point I would remind him that I live on about $300 a month. Still, now that I am looking at jobs for when I get back into the US, it makes me feel pretty good! But more on that later. 

Beerlympics was an amazing success with the slightly controversial win going to my friend Chad. Chad is now in charge of hosting the next one so that the trophy can be passed down to the next generation of PCVs. At this point I would like to introduce you all to my friend Justin, who provided the meat and a good bit of the alcohol for the whole celebration. This included bush meat, which meant that Alex and I got to try Zebra which was really cool, and pretty nice tasting (my vegetarianism doesn't extend to "taster" portions of meat I believe I would not be able to try back in the states.)

The next day, out of the goodness of his heart, Justin offered not only to drive us up to Pandamatenga, and also to put us up in a lodge for a night. This was awesome for a few different reasons, the first being that I have never been to Panda, the second being because it meant a big chunk out of lodging and traveling expenses and thirdly because we got to go to the going away party of a volunteer that is getting ready to move to Maun for her third year extension. 

The party was awesome, and the lodge was comfortable and we made a bunch of new friends...really what more could we ask for?

The next day Janina, Aimee, Alex and I were off to Livingstone, Zambia to have our awesome Victoria Falls adventure. The whole trip to the falls was awesome, we staid in Fawlty Towers Hostel which was not only comfortable, but cheap! We saw the falls, relaxed by the pool, played card games and hung out, and almost died while white water rafting...

Did you catch that last one?? The part where I told you we almost died??? I could be over dramatizing a bit here but we did sign up for a half day white water rafting trip which took us through rapid 11 all the way down to rapid 24. During said trip Janina was ejected three times, and the boat capsized once. For those of you who have been white water rafting before, let me assure you that the Zambezi is a whole different animal, and that we were going on high water season, which means that it was a big, fast, scary, just got poked with a stick, kinda animal. Our raft (as you can see from the picture included) went into a class 4+ rapid, capsized end over end and then pitched us all into the water, under the boat, only to go through the rapid again blind, dazed, and lacking the ability to get air.

The guy who is looking like he is hanging out in an invisible lawn chair is Alex. I am the slightly lower of the two orange helmets to the right. At this point in the trip Aimee is kinda sittin on me. 

After making sure everyone's head was above water, and getting back into the raft, our guide handed us all an apple (it was like a healthy treat for surviving!) and we just kinda sat there for a second. After a moment I believe it was Alex who said "so...did anyone else actually think they were possibly going to die just then?" to which we all exclaimed that we had, and that this was quite the rafting trip. Apparently if you go on the full day one you cap 2-4 times. I think sometime after the 2nd I would probably risk getting eaten by a hippo and just insist that I walk the rest of the way, but who knows?

We had a great time in Zambia, Janina even bungee jumped which was insane. Mad props to the people that are willing to jump off an incredibly high bridge with only rocks and a river and some crocs to catch you at the bottom. I have the feeling I will probably leave this world never having done it, and I'm very much okay with that. We also got to briefly touch a toe into Zimbabwe (the bridge you jump off of spans the two) which officially made this a four country trip for Alex and I, which I thought was kind of cool.

Prior to leaving Panda we had made arrangements to meet up with Justin on our way back down and have dinner out at a friend of his lodge. We piled back into his truck as he drove us out into the middle of the bush. When we got to the place our minds were pretty much blown. 

Man, life in Africa is SOOOOOO hard!

Kazuma Lodge is what you imagine in your dreams when you think about safaris in Africa. It is a place that is screaming monocles, afternoon tea while you stick your pinky out, chatting about Kippling and admiring the the water buffalo you just shot. It is fancy scotch, "cheerio ol' boy" and the epitome of "Bush Luxury"
(emphasis on the "luxury" and not so much the "bush".) When we drove up, the natural watering hole had 5 elephants around it, and over the duration of our 4 course meal, about 25 more showed up just for our pure entertainment. The food was amazing, the view was astounding, and for a second I actually felt like anything other than a peace corps volunteer (which may or may not be a good thing.) It was a once in a life time experience and I can't thank Justin, as well as the lodge owners, enough for facilitating it for us. 

I think we pull it off

The last night before we went back to the capital was spent with Aimee, Alex and I in the pans, camping out under the stars and enjoying a relaxing bon fire chat with some of the managers. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about sleeping under the stars but sleeping under the stars, in Botswana winter, on the salt pans (which have zero wind protection), is not the best way to go about things.

In the morning Alex and I went off and had a four wheel adventure over the pans, and got as close as you can get to wild meerkats, saw an ostrich running at full speed, had a nice little breakfast, and got to zoom around on a four wheeler with our heads wrapped up like Lawrence of Arabia. 

The trip ended back in the capital with me crying hysterically (okay...maybe not "crying hysterically" as much as "weeping stoically") and waving to Alex on the bus from the street corner. I do have to say it was incredibly hard to see him go. Not only did we have an amazing trip, but we got closer and he was able to bring a bit of "US home" back into my life. I can't thank Alex enough for coming out and visiting and being the amazing, supportive, wonderful cousin that he is. Alex, you have been with me through this whole insanity, and never once let me doubt or question myself. You are an amazing person, and I'm proud to be your cousin. :)

Some other random pictures from the trip:

<I FOUND A STATE FAN! & Me after pans trip

The guy whose job it is to get the meerkats
used to people

<Alex being a baller & bridge in Vic Falls

MST

So I head back to my village after cleaning myself up a bit (crying in public is so rare here, some passing students asked why my "face was sweating") and have a week to get things in order before I went off to MST. 

MST (Mid Service Training for those of you who haven't read the "terms" page) was hands down the most successful Peace Corps training I have gone to. We talked about life after Peace Corps, how we were coping with our service thus far, diversity (lead by the most excellent Dominique; diversity point person for PSDN), emotional health and different resources we had at our disposal. It was also just wonderful to see the whole group together again and catch up with people I haven't really seen since IST. 

Bots 12 is an amazing group of individuals who are not only passionate about what they are doing but are really freaking good at doing what they are doing. We have projects all over the boards from reusable menstrual pads for girls, support groups, condoms in taxi cabs, shade projects, recycling ARV bottles in order to make pill counters to help with accountability, gender based violence campaigns and advocating for the rights of people wit disabilities. When we get together it just gives me hope for the world, hope that people like this aren't a minority, and that ultimately those working towards positive change vastly out weight those working against it. 

The few days together was awesome and also gave me a chance to talk with my peers about potential future projects (which we will talk about a little later down the page.) It was a wonderful time and it is weird to think that the next time we gather in a large group it will be for our COS conference and we will be getting ready to end service together and move on to the next phase of life. I wish all of my fellow volunteers luck in the next year, and sincerely hope that I am able to see you before then.

I know there aren't any pictures in this chapter and it is only because it would look like a standard conference from anywhere.

Mural Painting Insanity

Dana and I have been talking about doing a mural in my village for a while now, and finally sat down and picked out some dates. We decided on the week after MST because right before that was Alex's visit, and after that Kalindi would be coming to visit, and after that Dana would be heading to COS, so this was really the soonest possible date we could manage. 

If ever here was a stereotypical Peace Corps project, this one was it. 

We had issues with transportation which meant that we got to my village late, but were still pleased to find a group of about 8 women who had showed up for the meeting at the Creshe (its the word for preschool here.) Dana has this wonderful program set up, and this is actually the fifth mural she will have completed within Botswana. In a nutshell she gets together some members of the community as well as some of the youth and asks people what they want to be represented in the mural. What are some of the issues facing the community? What are people proud of? What makes this place special? Then she asks them to show her some of their favorite places in the village and she goes around taking pictures (actually in this case she let the youth take pictures) and from that she creates a mock up. 

After showing the mock up around and getting more feedback there is a final sketch and then the painting begins. Priming, coating, sketching, painting and whatnot and then voila! Beautiful public art!

At least that is how it is supposed to go. So we had the 8 women and after the initial discussion we decided we would meet back there the next morning at 9am. I show Dana the wall, do a quick tour of the village and then we head back to my house to get settled. The next morning we show at the preschool at 8:45am and wait for people to show...and wait...and wait...and wait...and then we hit 11 am and only one woman has come (surprisingly enough it was someone who wasn't there at the first meeting.) We get her opinion and then call the head teach to find out what the heck happened only to hear that there was a kgotla meeting and then is why no one showed up and that they had all decided to move the meeting to tomorrow at 9am...you know...without telling us. 

Okay, so tomorrow at 9am, not a problem. Dana and I head to the library, I check in at the clinic, we get some groceries and head back to cook dinner. Next morning 9am, it is Friday so at this point we are a day behind and I have to spend part of the morning at the clinic to help weigh babies. I send Dana on ahead and tell her I will be there in an hour and she should just start without me. While listening to the end of the health talk, who do I see walk in (a this point it is about 9:30am) but the head teacher for the preschool...with the keys to the preschool. I quietly go over and ask why she isn't at the meeting to which she responds that she has to weigh her baby. I ask for the keys so I can run them over and let the rest of the people into the building, only to find when I get over there that "the rest of the people" is still just Dana. 

We open the building, I run back and weigh babies, and then run back to the preschool to find that Dana is still the only one there. We have one woman who shows up, sees that there is no one there, goes out to make "a call" and then we watch her walk completely away from the whole thing. 

At this point I am furious, I have put some of my own money into this, Dana has come all the way up from Molepolole, and this is a project that the preschool said they wanted! We both go back to the clinic around 10:30 and find the head teacher and let her know that we are done. No one has showed up for two meetings, we are the only ones who seem to want to do this, and we aren't going to be doing it on our own since it is not our jobs to do things for people, but to do things with people. She apologizes and asks for one last chance, Dana and I have a powwow and discuss a few things like how we are now two days behind, and that we are going to need to prime tomorrow at the very least. We decide we will give it one last shot and if no one shows up she will go home and I can donate the paints to the next project she does. 

FINALLY the next morning we get about five people to show up and prime the wall. Wealso get some youth who happen to be passing by, and the head teacher puts some pep into her step to get people to show up. Ultimately it is too late to finish the mural, and Dana goes home having only primed, but she is coming back next week to finish things and has come up with an amazing sketch so I still have a lot of hope that this is going to be an amazing project. 

I would like to note that Dana is in fact the shit. 

Kalindi's Trip

Kalindi is a wonderful friend whom I've had since high school. She decided that she was crazy enough to come out and visit for three weeks and seeing how special and amazing I think this woman is, I couldn't have been happier to have her here. 

Kalindi's trip was actually very similar to Alex's (including the fact that I kept saying things like "I can't believe you are here" and then touching her to make sure she was) but because she was here for an extra week we were able to get up to Maun as well as have a whole 6 days in my village instead of Alex's 3. She came in and we had a fun starting two nights in Gabs. The first was in the Metcourt and the second was at Shannon's house. Shannon lives just outside of Gabs and was nice enough to be willing to put us up. This was great because Kalindi got to meet everyone and we got to hang out with Lola and Noodle, Shannon's dogs, who are wonderful in their own right. 

The next morning we met up with Dana and Raquel and traveled up to Mathatane to visit Hollis, who lives right next to the Tuli Block and was already hosting a bunch of people (do another super special shout out to her.) We got up there late, and tired and pretty much fell asleep immediately. The morning after we made our way out to Tuli to poke around a bit and then set our sites for Lepokole Hills! This site is not only beautiful but is the home to some astounding cave paintings. Of course, it being Peace Corps, there was no guide (Janina and I made do since we had been out there before) and the gates were locked (we jumped them and hiked from there) but we made do and finally made it to this sacred site. It is one of those places that is no less moving the second time around and I feel blessed to have been able to go out there twice. 

From there we pushed on, on our own up to Kasane and after a lovely hitch with a Zimbabwean truck driver, were able to meet up at the camp site with Aimee and Boo. Camping was fun, Kalindi and I went to the Chobe River Lodge for lunch over looking the Chobe River and had a beer while viewing elephants from afar. It is one of those "pinch me I must be dreaming" type things. We met two awesome guys at the camp and hung out for the evening before retiring back to the tent...which is when things got weird. 

We accidentally forgot to bring Kalindi's leftovers with us into the tent so around 2am in the morning we woke up to animal sounds. Now, in Africa, "animal sounds" tend to be a lot more dangerous than they would be in the places that most people camp...like Sleeping Bear Dunes...or the beach. Having ruled out the Big 5 (Elephant, Lion, Water Buffalo, Rhino, Cheetah) I decided that at the very least it was a Monkey and at worst it was a Warthog...which would actually be a pretty bad thing if you know anything about Warthogs. We made some noise and punched at the tent wall and thought it may have gone away. After laying back down I felt something up against my leg...the leg that was on the far side of the tent. 

Kalindi swears she looked up to see a hand pushing into the side of the tent, all I know is that I started freaking out and trying to scare the thing away. It was after this we both realized we had to pee...which meant exiting the tent...

At this point I am going to have to stop because the library is closing which means I get no more internet. I'm going to post this little cliff hanger as is, and will add pictures and the rest of the stories to it on Friday. Thanks for tuning into this episode of "Crazy Stuff Claire Does in Africa" and I implore you to check back in, in a few days to hear exactly what happened when Kalindi and I left the tent!!!! 

First Visitor

I wasn't really planning on posting today but I figured the upcoming EPIC EVENT OF EPICNESS, might need a little preamble before I do a full post a few weeks from now.

My cousin, ladies and gentleman, and everyone in between, is getting on a plane today to fly to...

ATLANTA!

But after that he is going to get on another plane where he will fly to

BOTSWANA!

Well I guess technically he is flying to South Africa but after that we are going to get on a bus to Bots, so I think it pretty much counts.

In about a day and a half (though I am sure it will feel longer for him) my first ever relative will be touching down in Africa to visit me and I couldn't be happier...or more freaked out. On the one hand this will be the first member of my family that I have seen since December, for those of you who don't feel like counting that means a long 5 months! I miss my family every single day, and so having someone here to bring a little piece of that to me is going to be wonderful. On the other hand I am worried that this trip isn't going to be everything he is hoping it is going to be. I mean this is his first time to Africa! Weren't we just talking about this in the post below? How men are men, and women are women and there are crazy animals running lose everywhere? Well he hasn't been here for over a year tempering that view which means it is my job to make sure that his stay lives up to all those crazy ideals.

But interwebs...SO MUCH goes wrong here...ALL THE TIME.

I am constant walking proof of Murphy' Law, and normally that is fine but now one of my closest relatives is coming to visit and is going to be sucked into that and I don't know how to avoid it. What if the combi doesn't come, or it comes and it breaks down and then we get to the park late and we miss seeing rhinos and then MY COUSIN NEVER GETS TO SEE A RHINO?!? Or what if he has an alergic reaction to some of the traditional food I have been arranging and then he spends his whole trip puking or something? What happens then? What do I do? Because it is my job tat he has a good time, and it is my job to make sure that he sees the right side of this amazing country and goes home and tells everyone he know "South Africa is boring, you need to go to Botswana!" Because lets me real people, I can count on one hand the number of people I know who come to Africa to vacation anywhere other than South Africa, and I think that is a little silly.

So yeah, I'm freaking a bit, and my whole house is clean, and I'm pretty sure I have planned everything down to the second, but I'm not 100% sure and I'm hoping he can just roll with the punches (I'm pretty sure he can and that I am just freaking for no reason.) Only time will tell though, and so this is going to be an interesting experience.  

Wish me luck!

Hugs and smooches,
Claire/Tlotlo

Romanticizing Peace Corps

United States Peace Corps

When you read those words, if you are an American, and grew up in a middle to upper income home, chances are you think of some things, or have a certain feeling come over you. I have found that, for the most part, these mental stirrings fall into one of two categories. The first is that Peace Corps is an organization that sucks down American tax payer money, and that it is filled with dirty hippies thinking they can do something to change the world, but who are, in fact, just bringing the big scary western machine to the innocent, unsoiled corners of the earth. This actually encompasses two negative views, the first being the more conservative negative view point and the second being the more liberal negative view point. If you were under the impression that there aren’t liberals who hate Peace Corps, I hate to break it to you but you are wrong.  

The second and vastly more popular view of Peace Corps is a wildly romantic and idealized view. It involves a bunch of determined Americans covered in mud, building a bridge, talking in the local language and generally being the type of people that make the world a better place. If you are thinking of men, they have beards and if you are thinking of women, they aren’t wearing bras and probably have incredibly long hair. They are all eating weird exotic food, and if they are wearing shoes, they are probably made of hemp or banana leafs. They are undoubtedly pooping in a hole (Unofficial Peace Corps Anthem) Let us explore this issue shall we?

Firstly, we started in an insanely beautiful and Cinderella like story that involved JFK giving a speech on the steps of the University of Michigan Union in 1961, in the rain, at 2am in the morning, to a group of students that asked only that their country give them a chance to serve. And then we went out into the world, and probably like you may have thought, we built bridges and schools and we did what is known as “gap” filling. This was a wonderous testament to what the youth of America could do if they put their minds to it, and it made a super pretty picture, but ultimately it wasn’t helping people and it was only completing a short term vision. Because, you see, if you build a bridge but teach no one to maintain it than it will go to ruin, and if you don’t teach anyone to fix it, then it will fall down, and then you don’t have a bridge any more.

So we moved to the capacity building model, which means I don’t get to do diddily squat unless I find a person in my village who wants to do it with me. I think this village needs a support group for teen mothers, but no one is on board because the last support group they tried to start went dead? Tough cookies! If I want to set up an income generating cooperative for single mother’s but there is no one who wants to help me with it, nothing happens. This model works better, it insures that the projects we start today don’t fail when we leave, it helps check that the things we are doing are actually needed and wanted within the community, and it creates a natural form of investment.

But that isn’t really what we are talking about with this, what we are talking about here is the interesting social spot in the American psyche that Peace Corps has. Since I started the application process I have gotten comments like “well my life isn’t as adventurous as yours” and “you must have it so much worse than I do.” This type of thinking is most detrimental to those who are looking into Peace Corps, a.) because you tend to think you are going to work a lot harder than you actually are, which may prevent you from applying in the first place, and b.)because if you actually apply, and come out to whatever country you were invited to, you are going to be carrying more baggage than what is in your suitcase. I was truly under the impression, prior to talking to RPCVs, that volunteers work 24/7 in very back breaking, physical labor; that was until a recruiter set me straight: “Peace Corps will be two of the most laid back years of your life.”

So let’s take on some of these misconceptions one at a time.

First: “My life must be cooler than yours because I live in Africa”

This statement must be divided into two portions, firstly that “Africa” is a heavy baggage word in the US, and two that you may not be at a super happy place in your life, so you assume mine is better. The novelty of living in the Botswana (or anywhere else in Africa) might get you through PST and a month at your new site. At some point though the fact that you are traveling in an overcrowded combi, and you have a chicken shitting on your lap (I meant ‘sitting’ but both could be happening) just becomes frustrating. The lack of water can be fun and campy but you hit day 3 or 4 and all you want is a shower. The rice and beans/ lentils joke is cute, but you haven’t eaten anything else for a month and you are pretty sure your system is starting to lose its ability to digest anything else. The Africa baggage is because a lot of Americans seem to think that Africa is a single country, and that is it full of animals and adventure; where men are men, and women are women, and all the little black babies with distended bellies are just begging for help. This is not how it is here, and if it was I don't know why you would think it would be cool to work here, it would be depressing, and void of humanity.

I work with real people, people who have families and jobs and feed their kids and creating loving communities. I do NOT work in a UNICEF commercial. The “coolness” of life here doesn’t last forever, and it isn’t something that is going to get you through a two year service. Don’t apply if all you got going is the “cool” factor, you will ET if you don’t find more to ride than that. Peace Corps is a two year commitment that requires you to swear into a pseudo-government position, it is too hard if all you are doing it for is so that you can use it to pick people up at a bar later on in life.

Second, “My life must be super hard, because I live in Africa.”

Okay, I know we just talked about how Peace Corps is hard, but the portions of my life that are hard, are not usually the portions of my life that you think are hard. Firstly, I serve in Botswana, and unlike a lot of other parts of Africa, this country has their business together. We have roads, and hospitals, and business people, and not everyone is toting a gun and looking for trouble. 

My house has water and electricity (when it is on), and I have a refrigerator, as well as a bath tub. My life is not as hard as you think it is physically, and harder in a lot of ways it would be difficult to describe, emotionally. The reason for this is because we, as humans, are incredibly adaptable and we get used to certain norms very quickly, and adjust our lives accordingly. This is why homo sapiens live in SO MANY different climates, because we learn to adjust. Just check out “Human Planet” on BBC.

I miss my friends, I miss my family, and I miss the familiarity of home, and that is not something that should be down played, but I’m not living in squalor, I’m not starving, and I’m not infested with parasites that are eating away at my eyelids. My life is hard, but not the kind of hard you are talking about.

Third “I am a better person, because I have decided to do this.”

Let me make it clear that Volunteers are a wide mixed sample of the American people, sure we have a lot in common in how we see the world, but we also have a lot of differences. There are lazy, active, greedy, giving, self involved, altruistic, Volunteers from all walks of life, which means that there are a infinite ways to spend a service; including doing very little over the course two years. I would like to reiterate that this is not the majority of volunteers, but just like any big organization or company, you have people that work harder, and people who don’t work quite as hard. There are also a million different reasons for joining Peace Corps in the first place. Some people join to run away from something (student loan payments, divorce, job loss, depression, dissatisfaction with life), some people join because they want to travel, some people join for purely career based reasons, and some people join because they have a fervent want to help their fellow man. The why of people joining often crafts what sort of job they see themselves as responsible for doing. 

I don’t know where I fall on this, there are days when I work my ass off, there are also days when I just don’t feel like dealing with it and so I sit and count pills and chill out with the staff at the clinic. Now, at this point you could say that I am “doing something” but just being around, because sometimes I talk about the US, and people get to know me and just my simple self is affecting the world for the better. This may all be true, but it is not the sole reason that the organization exists, and usually not the reason people join up. I am no better or worse a person than I would be if I had stayed in the US and continued to work at my deli mail order assembly line job (which was hands down in my top three jobs along with being a volunteer and a substitute teacher.) I have changed a lot during the past year, but my essence has not changed, at least I don’t feel like it has, and though there has been a lot of fine tuning, I’m going to be recognizable when I get back.

So that is it, three of the more popular comments I receive when talking about my Peace Corps service. Now that we have all that covered I wanted to make another little happy announcement for the day:

SAME SEX COUPLES ALLOWED IN PEACE CORPS!

Starting on June 3rd, the United States Peace Corps will begin taking applications for same sex couples! 

I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER about this, and it makes me so proud to be a part of this organization. Peace Corps has been taking heterosexual couple applications since its inception and this move has just proven that the are not only willing to "talk the talk"of greater inclusion and more rights for gay and lesbian couples, but that they are also willing to "walk the walk." 

For those of you that might have some questions but don't want to read the article, PC will still devote it's time to finding SAFE placements for these couples, and will not break any domestic laws that certain countries may have, as they do with all Volunteers (i.e. same sex couple will not be placed in any of the 80 countries that have anti-homosexuality laws that Peace Corps might be working in.) Also, staff in countries deemed safe will get special training dealing with same sex couples and special challenges they may come across. 

I'm so happy about this, and I hope the Supreme Court is taking notice :)

~Claire